A Guide To Cut Through the Chaos and Start Living, today.
I know what you must be thinking: “How can this person make a top 10 for how to live with inner peace? Isn’t that kind of besides the point?”
And you might be right.
But, hear me out here.
I have been there, done that.
Like you, I have tried to eat, drink, spend and do my way to peace. But I have found that it doesn’t really work like that. Whenever I over did it too much, I wound up feeling so much worse than before.
Less Doing, More Being
So, without further ado, here is my Top Ten Ways to Feel Inner Peace
- Radical Acceptance: As the author and meditation teacher Tara Brach explains, when we are at war with what is, we can’t fully experience our lives. Acceptance of the “way things are” doesn’t mean that we don’t wish and want for a better and more just world, but we do begin with where we are. We accept the version of reality we are living, the things that have happened and the things we have done. This frees us up to approach our life in a way that serves us, rather than harms us.
- Self Compassion: This is probably one of my favorite ways to find inner peace. For much of my life, I have beat myself up for many small things about myself. But, then I heard about Self Compassion. As I began to learn more about this practice, read books and workbooks, and even take a Mindful Self Compassion course, I have been awoken to the possibilities that exist when I fully accept myself as I am. This isn’t to say that I settle for less, put up with my own bad behavior or don’t try to challenge myself. But, when I am kind, it makes the aspiration for more seem more attainable. I actually believe I can achieve it, instead of berating myself for not being there yet.
- Nature Medicine: Nature is the ultimate healer. I absolutely love getting outside, breathing fresh air, and grounding myself. Reminding myself that I am of the earth, as is every other living person, animal, plant, and element is a way that I enjoy connecting with others. For some, other people can feel unsafe. But, in nature, we can find our common humanity and our common origin.
- Morning Routine/Ritual: This is an absolute game changer for me. I notice that if I don’t give myself my morning routine, I am thrown off for the whole day. It negatively affects my mood and my ability to cope with the day. In the morning, I have a specific way that I like to welcome the day. It doesn’t have to happen in an exact order, but for me, sitting in a morning meditation is essential. I have specific elements in my morning meditation ritual that are must-haves for me, but these don’t have to be the same for you.
- Read an inspirational book: Learning from others is a wonderful tool when coming to consciousness. While coming to consciousness can be painful, as CG Jung says, it is essential to have inner peace on this journey so we are not completely uprooted. Reading books by others who have been on this journey has been so important to my healing, growing and feeling connected. A few favorites are Psycho Cybernetics, The Universe Has Your Back, and The Mindful Self Compassion Workbook.
- Journal it out: Journaling is one of my all time favorite ways to relieve mental anguish. I like to let it all flow from my head, down my arm, into my hand, through the pen and on the paper. This visual aids me in seeing the pain released out of my mind. If you prefer to type rather than write, having a document on your computer ready to go can help. If you prefer to speak rather than write, I love encouraging clients to use the Voice Memo app on their phone to talk through difficulties.
- Go to therapy: As a therapist, you knew this would be on my top ten list! I love going to therapy. I am a verbal processor. I need to be able to speak through what is going on in my life, and to have someone I respect and trust be able to interpret what I’m saying and give me feedback. The therapeutic alliance is so important in my life. It’s a place I can go and not feel judged at all. And, I am accepting clients for teletherapy right now! If you live in VA, email me to get started. Highly, highly recommend!
- Celebrate big (and small) wins: To feel inner peace, it is important to recognize how far we have come. You might sometimes find yourself comparing yourself to other people on the internet. But, it’s important to remember that what people post is a carefully curated set of photos that they have most likely edited. They aren’t posting about their dog throwing up on the rug, the hatred they feel for their bodies, the fight they got into with a friend or loved one. When you celebrate your big or little wins, you are reminding yourself that your desires are worthy, that you accomplished something, and that you are capable of achieving your dreams!
- Share with loved ones: Connection is an important piece of being a human. Dr. Bruce Perry’s book Born For Love illustrates the vital role attachment plays in the development of human beings. So, to boost your inner peace and heal your nervous system, make sure you are regularly checking in with a few people: any trusted and safe family members, friends, loved ones, significant others, and people who you want to cultivate relationships with. Ask how they are doing, and share anything that is happening in your life. Forge these connections deeply so that you see yourself as an integral part of your world.
- Rest: Sometimes, we just need to shut down, turn everything off, and be alone. Rest. Close your eyes. Turn off your phone. Allow yourself to be heavy, still, calm. Feel the breath flowing in and out of your body. Give yourself the nourishment you need. Rest is absolutely essential to cultivating inner peace and safety. Your body is your home. You belong to yourself. You keep yourself safe. You know yourself best. Answer the call deep within and become attuned to your own needs. From a place of rest, inner peace is almost inevitable.
What are your thoughts?
Would you add anything to your list of cultivating inner peace? What helps you to feel peaceful, at ease, restful, and enough?
