This week, I had the pleasure of interviewing Tess Palma-Martinez. Tess is a sound healer, manifestation expert and founder of Completely Golden, based in Nosara, Costa Rica. She has created a medicinal style of sound healing, and works with clients in her Find Your Frequency mentorship. Her clients have experienced miraculous healing and perspective shifts that lead to greater awareness of who they are and how to express themselves in the world. You can find Tess on Instagram at @completelygolden where she shares a deeper connection with nature, offers daily insights and promotes upcoming events and retreats.
This episode is full of profound insights, a-ha moments and you’ll probably want to listen with a pen and paper in hand!
Here are three reasons why you should listen to this episode:
- Hear from Tess what she means when she says to validate yourself in every direction of your life.
- Learn about how Tess healed her body with sound healing.
- Discover how to find your frequency and shift from forcing things to happen to receiving.
Resources
- Episode 17 | Special Episode! Receive a Reiki Transmission
TRANSCRIPT:
This editable transcript was computer generated and might contain errors. People can also change the text after it was created.
Elise Kindya: Thank you so much for being here Tess. I’m really excited to get into this conversation. first and foremost, how are you doing today?
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m good. It’s the new moon today and it leading up this whole last week. I was having what felt like and I’ve had struggled with this a long time of chronic Epstein-Barr virus and…
Elise Kindya: wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: it seemed like I was having a relapse and that was actually a little worrisome, but I was trying not to have that pull me down, but for anyone that struggles with it, you understand and it is just the most fatigue and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s not only just fatigue within my body’s tired. I need to rest the fatigue extends into this energetic space and even within the mental capacity where I feel very light-headed and kind of this Buzzy sensation,…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: and I’m not really able to comprehend much and so it really limits my capacity in what I can do as far as work or even having a phone call with yesterday my mom called and Oxford under two minutes and I was like, okay. I have to let you go. I need I can’t and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: and so it’s a really tough space to be in and it can sometimes last between two to even seven weeks or if people have really really chronic fatigue. It can be their life. But today with the new moon, it feels like it’s lifted and then I was sharing about this on my social media and I had quite a few people actually say, my god. I’ve been feeling the same thing and I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know if I was getting sick or what was happening and
Tess Palma-Martinez: just this idea of all moving through so much and we’re all connected to so much all the time. And if we even entertain the ideas of we’re shifting timelines, which I feel like that’s being talked about so much no wonder we’re tired. No wonder I feel dizzy and lightheaded and Buzzy and even if it’s just like something I lightly entertain as an idea. It makes a lot of sense, but then otherwise, it’s like we’re just go going as a whole Collective world society that We really need to slow down and that’s like maybe I mean, we have a whole podcast episode to talk about but that’s my main focus right now is just really important everybody to slow down and do less.
Elise Kindya: I love that. I’m thank you for being here under those conditions of not feeling well having that chronic fatigue. I’ve heard of Epstein-Barr, but I’m not super familiar with what it is. what is
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, it isn’t an immune virus and it’s kind of within the autoimmune sector, but it’s actually kind of its own thing. But sometimes it gets paired with it there and it’s also known as mononucleosis. So for people growing up in the United States is often known as it’s the kissing virus and high school and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: you kiss somebody or you even take a sip of their drink and then all you got mono as a kid, we have stronger immune systems in general. And so yeah, you’re tired you get to skip school for two weeks and have everybody do your homework for you and the teachers kind of understand what that’s like, however when you get it as an adult, it’s much more likely to turn into a chronic issue and I first had my onset when I was 203 just after.
Tess Palma-Martinez: College and I quote unquote moved to Venice Beach, California and I was living and working in a hostel in the boardwalk in Venice Beach and contracted mono there which is super gross and…
Elise Kindya: My God.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then it’s been just this issue and now I’m 36 and tip. So the immune system will regenerate itself 18 So every year and a half your immune system is brand new essentially and that’s also typically the life cycle of the Epstein-Barr virus. So you’ll have an onset and then you have the heightened symptoms and then you go into what’s known as a convalescent phase where your immune system finally conquers and suppresses it but it’s actually just lying dormant within yourself until you are fatigued again until you’re burnt out and…
Elise Kindya: my God.
Tess Palma-Martinez: you’ve been too stressed or you have a food allergy that you haven’t been paying attention to or whatever the situations are and The people with varying degrees of immune system States, like I mentioned some people are living with this all the time. There is a really great documentary that came out on Netflix. I think it was called Hysteria. and really one I really think that that’s the name of the documentary…
00:05:00
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: but It was talking about the diagnosis of Hysteria. That was placed on women many years ago and…
Elise Kindya: right by mail doctors
Tess Palma-Martinez: that by male doctors, right and they now in hindsight are looking and it’s like, actually we think they all just had Epstein-Barr.
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: We think that they just were so run down and could not function with this level of fatigue that they were fainting and that you see that with the hysteria like women fainting passing out, but then there’s also that component of a little bit of delusion and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: because it’s coming from the brain fog part of it when you’re not able to comprehend and especially for long durations of time actually any person who has an illness that is sustained for a long period of time. It starts to mess with your mind you get into this fear space of is this…
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: what it’s gonna be like forever and I stuck here and…
Elise Kindya: right right
Tess Palma-Martinez: then other things start to kind of spin out and you become paranoid and all of that. So it’s been something I mean what 13 years now that I’ve been working with and trying to figure out and I’ve been told by so many doctors that it’s not
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s not able to be healed or to totally go away. But then I also have heard from other people…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: who are more spiritual that are like, definitely you can eradicate that from your system and Epstein-Barr virus is connected to herpes which more and more is coming out that pretty much everything stems back to herpes as its basis. I mean whether that is within the HPV family or the chicken pox is also a form of Herpes and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so point I think it’s four nines in a row. If not more percent of the human population has herpes and it’s just expressed in all of these different ways. So it’s essentially accurate to say that every person on the planet has for bees, but some people they get them as cold sores some people it’s something else…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: but if you’ve had chicken pox if your mother who birthed you had any form of Herpes, you inherently have herpes you can get it from the kid in the sandbox. You can get it from a kiss when you’re in high school. It doesn’t really matter and it’s not even As gross of a thing, I think as people think and again it’s being expressed in different ways.
Elise Kindya: This has been a conversation coming up a lot in my sessions with people whether it’s STDs or herpes specifically or the body mind connection and have so much in the west we feel like our mind and our body are two separate things when obviously they’re living inside of the same organism sure our mind can go and think about things but it’s interesting that you say what you said earlier because You know how our physical health affects our mental health a lot of times. I mean the bodies talking up to the Mind 80% of the time. So the way our body feels is very much influencing our thoughts and our mood and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: and the other way our thoughts can influence our bodies, too.
Elise Kindya: yeah. Sure.
Elise Kindya: Absolutely. It’s just an easier pathway for the body to go down to I feel I’m gonna think s***, that’s just…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yep.
Elise Kindya: how the body is Set up. So that’s a lot of the work that I do with my clients. So that’s interesting that this is where the conversation went right off the bat because yeah, I mean and I know the work that you do with your clients is very much about I’ll let you talk more about what you do with your clients, but very much about this mind. I don’t want to call it mindset work. I don’t want to put a label on it. I want you to talk about it yourself. But yeah, what there was something else you just said. And I wanted to say something about it, but I don’t.
Elise Kindya: If it comes back to me, it’ll come back to me. But yeah, so what is for my audience for people that might not know you how would you describe your work or your place in the world and just you as a person? How would you describe yourself?
Tess Palma-Martinez: How would I describe myself? I am here to be as clear of a frequency that I can be in my own unique way and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: I help other people to do the same. And essentially it’s interesting that you say mindset work and I would say a part of me wants to be absolutely not I don’t do mindset work, but then I think holistically that is part of it for essentially what I’m doing within helping people to connect with their own frequency and I use that language intentionally because it’s very scientific and I’m a big science nerd if you couldn’t tell by my entire monologue about the Barr virus
00:10:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: So within our frequency state so much is affecting that and that is the state of our body it is the state of our mind it is the state of our external environment and more sometimes even the state of our deep internal subconscious space and so that’s the piece of me that wants to push against the mindset work thing…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: because the mindset really focuses on the ego and the conscious mind the thinking mind where as I’m really helping people to connect with their sense of observation the neutral part of themselves and…
Elise Kindya: .
Tess Palma-Martinez: with that neutrality, you’re able to witness everything that’s happening without the desire to implement your own will or to try and I emphasize the word try to control because
Tess Palma-Martinez: That control is not a thing. You control does not exist. But our entire Society It is formed literally around the essence of perceived control. So when you strip that away and you realize I am literally not in control of anything unless I actively hold my breath. Yeah, we can control quote unquote some of the aspects inside of ourselves. We can control our thoughts to a degree to strengthen that sense of observation but anything outside of ourselves is absolutely beyond our control and most of what is happening within your body. And what is being projected out from your subconscious is also beyond your control. So our ability to control things is miniscule, but we think we have this big overreaching kind of like Barbarian ask I’m gonna make this work for the desired outcome that I want and
Elise Kindya: are
Tess Palma-Martinez: So the people don’t even know why they want that outcome and it could be going directly against their natural frequency. So that’s essentially…
Elise Kindya: wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: what I’m doing with the clients.
Elise Kindya: I love that that’s such so when we are not in control of anything. Except maybe holding our breath. How do we feel empowered in our lives or is that something that you?
Elise Kindya: I don’t know. You don’t want to impose an outcome on your clients. But is that something that? is important to you or what’s important to you in terms of the work that you’re doing or…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Hey.
Elise Kindya: just how you’re living in the world and Is it empowerment is it you said I’m here. I’m just present. I want to be a Clear Channel and help, people understand their own frequency. But yeah, if we’re not in control because I totally get you Our society very much is hold on for dear life like White Knuckle it and pretend that you lie to yourself and pretend that you have control over this thing.
Elise Kindya: So yeah, then if somebody’s listening to that and is not familiar with this concept of control isn’t real. So then what’s the point?
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s literally to enjoy everything and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: the opposite of trying to control is to let yourself be led. And my business at this point is 100% passively driven. I don’t do anything. You invited me on this podcast. I get invited places and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: then I show up fully. But I don’t make those things happen and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so by releasing that control. Yeah, I can feel scary for people especially at the beginning because that’s the only thing that they’ve known, but I can give an example of a client that I was working with and She was so I mean probably of all of my clients I could say the most in that space of perceived control and she at one point was even trying to tell me what reality was and I was like, there is no reality. Your reality is different than mine is different from that person. So that inherently implies that reality does not exist. tell me what is your worst case scenario? And she had a little difficulty trying to understand how to explain it and then she ended up explaining her life exactly how it was in that moment.
00:15:00
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: And I was like, do you hear what you just said and she was like what and I was like you just described your life right now and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: she was like, whoa, and I was like you’re currently living in your own personal hell and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: you got there by controlling everything. So why don’t you try something else? And it was a really intense perspective shift and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: that I’ve found is perhaps a gift of mine. I’m not sure but that’s the consistent feedback I get from clients is my ability to reframe and provide these big perspective shifts.
Elise Kindya: Wow, that’s so powerful. I’m imagining being that client and just being what? wow, yeah, that’s so important and Right, how we got here isn’t in our control. but being able to look at that and say I’m gonna be led. I’m gonna enjoy my life. I’m here for pleasure. I’m in a human body that has all these senses. Why not soak that up a little bit? I had a client recently that she said something about. she’s afraid of being happy because she’s so familiar with being sad. And if she can’t be happy 100% of the time there’s no point in being happy. And I was like, Are you sad a hundred percent of the time?
Elise Kindya: And she said no and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Wow.
Elise Kindya: I said, okay, so you’re willing to give up being happy because you can’t be happy 100% of the time, but you’re not willing to give up being sad. but you just admitted you aren’t sad 100% of the time. and trauma and all of these things like people don’t have control over every single part of how they ended up in this moment that they’re in. But then when we look at what the choices that we’re making and we’re like okay. I did.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay, that’s the responsibility.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, I don’t want to keep doing that. So. Yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: it’s really powerful work. So you had Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, you said just to add into that. You said that you can’t control how you get here or the fact that you’re here here where you are and I would say that is true. And you are absolutely responsible for where you are at that point and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: it doesn’t matter what happened to you in your life. and it’s not any competition and everyone’s trauma is their own highest point of trauma for what they have experienced. And I have a very small window of tolerance for people who use their trauma as a crutch because I have experienced so much trauma. And it is absolutely possible to create that distance from yourself and your trauma through that strengthened observation to then you don’t take it personally anymore. It’s not even part of you and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: a lot of the stories that I share people are. wow, you just shared this really crazy experience that you had in your past and you’re totally fine you’ve seen even Joyful that it happened, but you’re Totally fine and sharing that story and you’re just living your life now and I’m like, yeah because that’s how I feel. It is not attached to me. It is not part of my identity anymore because I see that it was just something that I experienced and I learned X Y and Z tools and it hurt that version of me and these different ways but it’s not still here. And so every time I return back to it with my thinking mind, I’m really wounding myself and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: that piece is my responsibility.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, right that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, thank you for sharing that.
Elise Kindya: So when you say that that thing happened to a past version of yourself. Do you feel So that thing hasn’t happened to this present version of yourself.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: Right, okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I mean even in a scientific way all of my cells in every aspect of my body has regenerated so many times between that happened to the time now that it actually literally physically tangibly did not happen to that same person. and then also within my mental landscape I have Found and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s not even important. I don’t think to really find where it lives within the subconscious as much as we’re thinking it does but Finding for me. I did find a lot of where that lives and then giving myself the things that I needed to feel healed and to feel nurtured from myself. It’s not about rewriting the past because that you can’t do it existed, but it’s coming to terms with that existence. It’s saying okay that happened that’s interesting. That was difficult.
00:20:00
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: Wow, but you’re looking at it in that neutral Observer aspect and noticing that’s not happening to me right now in this moment. I’m safe right now in this moment. I feel kind of good and the sun is shining and I just ate a really good meal. Whatever it is. Even if you are feeling sad and triggered by something. Just notice that but it might be triggering a memory or an aspect that’s stuck in your body from the past. But that thing isn’t happening again right now, but we get stuck on that.
Elise Kindya: right Right. That’s what I love so much about the work that I do with EMDR because we are going back into a memory, but they’re the beginning part of that is always to remind the body that this isn’t happening right now. We’re going back for the purpose of healing of bringing something that past version of yourself needed whether it was protection or…
Tess Palma-Martinez: mmm
Elise Kindya: nurturing or something like that, but That’s the only reason we’re going back to think about it is to heal from it. It’s not to dwell in it. it’s to actually show the body that’s completely over. It has a beginning a middle and an end and it can’t happen again. And so yeah this is where I think that Mind Body disconnection comes because the mind just that can go anywhere it wants to go.
Elise Kindya: And live that thing from 20 years ago or whatever over and over again, but then mindfulness that’s been such a big part of my life is mindfulness and bringing myself back into my body and saying my feet are right here. My body is here when I look around I’m safe. Everything’s okay. And getting back into that parasympathetic nervous system, I don’t need to be turned on right now. I don’t need to be hyper Vigilant right now. noticing what just feels neutral or even good in my body as opposed to…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay. exactly Yeah,…
Elise Kindya: what feels bad.
Elise Kindya: I love that so.
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s perceived threat versus actual threat and…
Elise Kindya: actual right
Tess Palma-Martinez: I learned that from my mom. She was She works in a Maximum Security Prison as a therapist in the mental health sector and…
Elise Kindya: that’s right. Wow.
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: that is like something that she’s talking with the clients. All day long is this a perceived threat or an actual threat and if you can have the awareness through observation to even ask yourself that in the moment, so I mean most of the time we are not in an actual threat moment.
Elise Kindya: life-changing right
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s mostly a perceived threat and that is that similar. Achieved control piece and so if our mind is wandering and We’re looping and we’re doing all of these things. It is your responsibility to train yourself out of that. To not be traumatizing yourself.
Elise Kindya: 100%
Tess Palma-Martinez: And if you feel like you’re at the whim of other people you actually need to step up for yourself and start doing something differently. No one else can do that for you?
Elise Kindya: right It’s so true. I love that I feel like you told me your mom was a therapist and I had forgotten that so that’s really cool. Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, it’s like there’s so many healers and my family on both sides generationally.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s really amazing to see and I think a lot of people will healers as shamans and Mystics and things like that, but it’s like actually no my dad’s father was a dentist and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: he worked in Impoverished neighborhoods of Brazil giving out free dental services.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: He’s a Healer. My mom works in the prison system as a therapist.
Elise Kindya: Absolutely.
Tess Palma-Martinez: She’s a Healer like that my aunt’s it’s all there and these different ways and anything that we do we could look at ourselves as a Healer. It’s about honoring…
Elise Kindya: Right,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: what we’re doing.
Elise Kindya: right and knowing that. Something that I kind of identify with is we have these human bodies. They are going to expire one day We don’t have forever in these meat suits, life is kind of inherently traumatic in that way. we get a sunburn we eat something it gives us a stomach ache. We get mono and our fatigued or whatever it is. those are inherently just hard things that our body has to go through but
00:25:00
Elise Kindya: wait, what was I saying? Let me make a note because I’m like three PM. Okay,
Elise Kindya: And yeah, be letting ourselves just experience the pleasure at the same time. it’s like nobody is getting out of this thing alive. So
Tess Palma-Martinez: What a way to put it.
Elise Kindya: we don’t have yeah,…
Elise Kindya: right we don’t have to dwell on how hard it is at every moment because Yeah, this is what it is for right now.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, literally.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Right and you don’t need to make it hard at every moment either. That’s the other thing.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, right.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s like we make things so difficult and something that I explored recently. It was I have this mono thing and the main symptom is fatigue. In general, I feel like just tired and kind of burnt out all the time. And every person I talk to in the world says the same thing so societally we’re kind of burnt out.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay, so if I just Lay here in child’s pose for a while and just notice how My body is hausted. my God. No wonder I feel so tired. My body is literally exhausted. So okay. I’m just gonna move a little bit and wow. I don’t even have the muscle structure to move my body in that micro way, but then I’m a wrecked and moving around the world at Hyper Speed during my day, but then I actually don’t even have them muscles to hold myself up during the day and so that’s actually making me exhausted. I physically can’t hold myself up, but I’m forcing myself up and so
Tess Palma-Martinez: Pairing it back and just allowing yourself to do less and build the foundation from inside out and that can be in the micro muscles. I’m mentioning but it can also be in the mind or it can be within the spirit. There are all of these spaces that we just need to do less and be there with it rather than trying to distract ourselves away from it. Because it’s never going to resolve at that point.
Elise Kindya: right absolutely, so It was so interesting following you since I met you in the fall of 2022 and getting some readings from you and coming to the spiritual Girls Club and all of that kind of stuff and then seeing that you were leading Retreats and things like that. And then I had this feeling when I was following you at one point you I have big news coming and I was like, she’s moving to Costa Rica. I just could tell you looked so happy when you’re on that. Read I was like are you moving and you were like, yes, so I would just love to hear more about and I know you said earlier about everything so passive in your life like your business just kind of runs itself. I invited you on this podcast you get invitations to do things.
Elise Kindya: I just would love to hear a little bit more about that process or just how obviously I’m sure it feels really good, but While also holding this base of your body is tired. And you are doing a lot of things. I mean you did just go through this whole moving countries selling all that stuff. So yeah, I would just love to hear more about this passive kind of manifestation process that you do.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, I loved your reference back to when we met and I was really beginning my path within the spiritual world at that time.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: and so I was having to kind of Blush out that foundational work. I was just met mentioning before that. I was working as a private Chef or celebrities in LA and I was doing that for years and that really burned me out. I mean my body was literally dying I ended up in the emergency room had to have emergency surgery and…
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: within that space I found sound healing and sound healing healed The frequencies healed me and…
Elise Kindya: Holy Show
Tess Palma-Martinez: without really knowing okay, I’m spending all of my free time looking at the moon thinking about the moon at the acupuncturist talking about meridians and shocker points, and I’m trying infrared sauna and cold plunges and I went to nutrition school. I like to know how the frequency of food is in the body everything that you do is naturally in the spiritual realm and so I don’t need to be here like cooking for people in their kitchens anymore. That doesn’t make sense. But I also don’t really know how to do this. And so I was kind of like a toddler just like where when we met I was working.
00:30:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: That part time behind the front desk of a meditation studio. And that was literally the first step into this world of I need to be making some sort of income minimum wage part-time week is not going to support me but it’s something and then after three months it was like, we need to last minute sub for this class. Are you available? And I was like, yes and so next level up and then I got a job working at unplug studio in LA and very quickly became one of their top teachers and had multiple classes a week and hosting workshops and doing this spiritual Girls Club and I was trying things out like you mentioned readings. I don’t even do readings anymore. So it’s like things come in and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s like, I’m good at that. But that doesn’t feel quite right. It’s depletes my energy and it’s not really what is exciting. Whereas sound healing like I can’t get enough of that. And so I’m gonna shift and to that direction a little bit more and then I also like being in community and so I’m going to create this group called spiritual Girls Club and just allowing myself to kind of play in that space But at the same time and this is the reality for so many people is I was living in one of the most expensive cities of the world and working part-time as a sound healer.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And it was like, I am just starting out in this sector, even if it was six months or a year into it. That’s still very new. How do I create this income for myself? I need a certain amount of money every month just to break even just to pay for my apartment that is already so expensive. Plus. I have a roommate it’s just overwhelming and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: at a certain point and It was April of 2023 and I kind of hit this space Of surrender because I had been pushing so hard and trying to control things for my desired outcome so hard and what that looked like was.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Pitching my ideas to and good online magazine or this other online space or reaching out to so-and-so because I had a vaid connection and maybe I could get on there like morning talk show or I’m gonna go to the studio and try to get another weekly class and nothing was working out and so it felt really frustrating of I’m doing all of this work. This is what I hear from everybody of what I should be doing is marketing myself and networking and make sure you make eye contact and have a firm handshake and whatever BS and I was doing it to the point of no return literally. I was not receiving a return on any of these things and I was fairly making ends me I had to even borrow $500 from my mom.
Tess Palma-Martinez: What comes before April March of I just can’t make my rent. I need to buy a borrow 400-500. and then April came and I was depleted that’s the best word. I was just out of it. I was out of the lake mental courage to keep reaching out to people I was out of the The mental generation of content even to be posting online. my body was tired. I felt defeated financially and Literally I gave up and what that meant was.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I stopped everything I stopped sending out newsletters. I stopped my podcast. I stopped following up with people that was such my main source of trigger was through the email space and following up because somebody didn’t reply to me within a quote unquote appropriate time frame and I felt like they were wasting my time. But really now I see it. I was wasting my own time they were never gonna get back to me. I don’t need to push them for an answer. I just stopped instead in that time. I went to the park or the beach and I listened to a nonsense podcast that I wasn’t learning anything that was important. I’m not learning anything anymore either I don’t need more I need less.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: And then that’s when things started to shift and I started to kind of pay attention to this divine feminine energy. And I don’t really talk about this within my work very much because I believe it’s bigger than that and it’s also a little polarizing in the way that people respond to you the energy of divine feminine concept. But it is at its Essence Yin energy with yin and yang the yin is passive that does not mean permissive. And that is a big distinction and…
00:35:00
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: it also does not mean It means But with true vulnerability has the You are the strongest in your own core that you can completely open with trust to receive.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And simultaneously be sending out that frequency signal. I am not to be messed with. Don’t even try it. And that is I think what people are afraid of letting go of their perceived control is I’m gonna be weak and then people are going to take advantage of me. they’re already taking advantage of you now because you’re holding on so tight and you’re resisting and that would we resist persist if you completely open and you have a solid foundation in yourself, people are not going to try they’re like, no, she’s way too sturdy in herself.
Elise Kindya: right right
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m not even gonna go there. And when I started to see that shift. All of a sudden these things started coming in. I had literally made space and within the manifestation World they say that a lot. It’s like, you need to make space to call in the things that you want, but I don’t think people really truly know what that means. Yeah, clean out your bedside table of your calling in a partner and you want and put a rose there whatever I I think that’s more surface level whatever the deeper work is Actually making space within your life and within that space then you become your number one priority.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: All of that space that I was spending writing newsletters recording editing and Publishing podcasts sending out emails trying to get contacts and work following up. all of that clutter. I released that and then turned toward myself. That space was filled and with me not with now I have space. Come on manifestations come find me at that point. I didn’t care…
Tess Palma-Martinez: if it came to me or not because I was filled in my own way. and then I moved to Costa Rica and I’ll share that in one moment, but since a lake leap ahead slightly I have since Completely moved to Costa Rica. I live in the jungle. I have my dream car. I have a completely passively run business. I am invited constantly. I just manifested or I’m not even going to use that word much anymore.
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I received a nine day complete all expenses paid vacation to Portugal out of the blue.
Elise Kindya: I need to hear about I saw you posted about that and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Elise Kindya: was like that’s so freaking cool. my God, what are you gonna be doing? Starting to interrupt you if you’re…
Tess Palma-Martinez: We’ll get there and…
Elise Kindya: if you are still going go ahead.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so all of this stuff has come because of that seed that was planted back in April and just really really opening myself up and allowing myself to be led and that is I would say the biggest piece the knowing that I am completely taken care of at all times. No matter if s*** is hitting the fan and it’s really difficult or I’m being washed over with free vacations It doesn’t matter. None of those things are better than the other. It’s just an experience and that’s that piece of the Observer of just witnessing and allowing whatever it is to be.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And I’m not taking it so personally and I know that this thing is going to change and it’s gonna ebb and flow and this bad time will pass so will this good time and that’s just the cycle of life. You can’t attach those things completely So comes July and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: I equally had passively received an invitation to facilitate a retreat in Costa Rica and nosara and July comes and the second day of the retreat. I was already moving here. It was so fast. I was at the point of Lake complete. I did not want to be anywhere near La anymore. Just way too disregulating. So many people so much pollution the concrete grid everywhere. expensive all of that And I come here and I’m like, my God, this is where I’ve been looking for my entire life. I have been searching the planet my entire life looking for this place and…
00:40:00
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: the ease of that move was like nothing else that I’ve experienced. I mean you need to think that there would need to be some amount of effort or planning or whatever to move to a new country and nothing. it was like everything took care of itself. And I mean, I sold my car for the exact amount that I wanted in cash within 20 minutes of me listing it.
Elise Kindya: what? whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: And the person came he drove it for five minutes. He was a mechanic buying it for his daughter and was This is an amazing car. How much should you want here? It is in cash and it was gone and it was like Okay. was that too easy and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah, right.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then it wasn’t too easy. It was easeful and let it be useful and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: I mean, I sold everything all of my belongings. I had three weeks back in LA to sell everything and every Sunday for three weeks. I had a garage sale on the corner right across the street from the farmers market which happened to be outside of my window and at the end of those three weeks. The only thing I had was one small box of miscellaneous objects that someone who actually came to the garage sale offered to donate and bring to the Goodwill for me. And otherwise everything had sold of an entire life’s worth and…
Elise Kindya: amazing
Tess Palma-Martinez: I moved to Costa Rica. Trials and tribulations within that as well. I had met someone who I thought was my Divine partner and turned out to be with complete opposite of that, but I still moved here and…
Elise Kindya: No.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I still feel happy about moving here and everything
Elise Kindya: you met that much when you were on that retreat in the summertime and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: when I was on that Retreat,…
Elise Kindya: then Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: yeah, and then I was like gonna be moving here to be with him and all of it and…
Elise Kindya: wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: that it turned out that he’s fully married and has a family and lots of other crazy things…
Elise Kindya: I Wow,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: but It was painful and…
Elise Kindya: I’m sorry.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m so grateful for that Observer part of me that I had cultivated because I was able to just be with the grief in the moment and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: processed it so quickly so fast and then it left my body. and then Being here and now I have this entire Standalone house, which I’ve always only lived in apartments. I was living in New York City for a long time you get used to like Someone’s on the left. someone’s below you someone’s in front and now I have an entire house that is not attached to any other building.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And a full I’m looking at it right now old view of the ocean. There is the canopy of the Jungle and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then right after is the ocean and I can drive there in my literal dream car that I have been dreaming of since a child sitting in my driveway and…
Elise Kindya: my God.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I can drive to that ocean in under five minutes.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: so it’s like Just For radical alignment allowing the space of radical alignment and letting go of the control of what you think that you need because there’s something outside of yourself is aligning everything for you and your perception of control is creating resistance from that you are resisting what is possible for you and…
Elise Kindya: Please
Tess Palma-Martinez: like I said, I don’t even want to say the word manifestation. I’m just receiving I’m allowing myself to be aligned and I had a very very prominent astrology my first ever birth chart astrology. Yesterday and…
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: she like wine. She actually approached me. She gave me a free birth chart reading again offered.
Elise Kindya: Of course. Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Because she had heard me on the expanded podcast and did my birth chart and was like, my God, I have to tell her what’s coming and it’s huge. And so she was like, so just get ready write your manifestation list get yourself ready before she could even finish that sentence. I was like, no I’m not writing a manifestation list because that will limit me. What is meant for me is so much bigger than I can even conceive and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: if I put it on a piece of paper. I’m limiting myself. I’m inherently trying to control the outcome. So I am just completely open to being led and being aligned. And that’s…
00:45:00
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: where I am and I’ll pause there because that was a long monologue, but I also can share about Portugal.
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, wow, I guess something I have a question about then is that I mean and thank you for sharing all of that. I mean, my God, it’s so inspiring. It’s and as you were walking through it and I’m like getting the visuals in my mind of all of what that was like being on the retreat, which is also just it’s own dream experience to be a facilitator on a retreat in Costa Rica. That’s super cool. I didn’t realize that you had just started with sound healing and all of that just in the fall of 2022. summertime Maybe
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, I had started at the beginning it was. Let’s see. I had the ruptured cyst that sent me to the emergency room January 3rd of 2022. So the very beginning of 22 and…
Elise Kindya: I’ll try.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then I found sound healing in February. So by the time we met had been…
Elise Kindya: Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: however many months that is and then
Elise Kindya: Interesting. I mean, I think it seems like you’re very quick with something happens or…
Tess Palma-Martinez: yes.
Elise Kindya: something is put in front of you and you can say yes or no and when you say yes, you’re just going and that’s the path that you’re taking. Yeah. Because yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yes. Yeah.
Elise Kindya: that’s something and sure we’re talking about people maybe that don’t have the same.
Elise Kindya: Philosophy or outlook on life. But yeah people that are maybe in that same kind of space that they weren’t invited to do sound healing on a retreat or they haven’t, man received all these things. but right it’s just a matter of deciding that that’s what you wanted to have happen and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: yeah.
Elise Kindya: for Being open to whatever it was going to be but yeah like saying someone here. Okay, great. going forward
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, and that’s simple and just getting out of your own way with that and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: Within human design. I’m a manifesting generator. And so that is kind of inherent in my type.
Elise Kindya: Me too.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s easier for us to do that kind of thing. But also it is directly connected to…
Elise Kindya: Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: how much are you connected to yourself worth? How much do you trust yourself? If you don’t trust yourself, and it’s not going to be easy to choose yourself.
Elise Kindya: I mean absolutely. I loved what you said earlier about being at the core of yourself, you can be completely open to trust because nobody can take away what’s inside of you. Nobody can take Away,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: who you believe yourself to be or the foundations that you lay for yourself or how you exist in the world? There’s no I mean sure we can get broken in situations or whatever but nobody can actually break into your house and steal that from you kind of thing. it’s yours. nobody could ever take it so.
Tess Palma-Martinez: but
Elise Kindya: That’s something I try to help my clients too is How do you want to identify yourself? who do you know yourself to be? That’s so important. It doesn’t matter what your dad said. It doesn’t matter what your teacher said. It doesn’t matter what the neighbor said? Who cares? What do you think? How do you feel about yourself?
Elise Kindya: What is here? But then also our purpose in life is to experience pleasure and pleasure isn’t just neutral there’s pleasure and there’s pain and then there’s neutrality kind of in the middle of that
Elise Kindya: yeah, just curious Your thoughts on that does the neutral Observer experience pleasure, or is it more of like our ego that experiences pleasure? Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yes, so there are different parts of ourselves and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: we’re strengthening these different parts of ourselves rather than being one actually disconnected, but somewhat homogeneous blob. We are understanding.
Elise Kindya: All right.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I have my body that has its own total wisdom stored information needs desires capacity for pleasure. That’s my body. Then I have my I have this amazing ability this brain power to daydream and think about things and wow, and that conversation. I wish I had said this and all of I mean, it is beautiful inherently, even though it can cause us so much perceived suffering and then we have our Observer part of the mind and then there’s a subconscious as well, which is another whole thing, but the Observer is neutral.
00:50:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: So it is not experiencing pleasure. Just like you said it is neutral.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: It is often in different texts within psychology and the spiritual World known to be connected to the seat of your soul. So this is the place where your soul resides and watches. Our soul similar to if you want to think about Angelic energy or Define energy, All of those energies are inherently neutral, but also loving There is endless empathy and compassion and understanding and a little bit of humor in there. But it is inherently neutral.
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It has no personal desire. And that is what makes it neutral. It doesn’t need an outcome. It doesn’t need an explanation. It just sits and we do watch TV or movie. When you have that ability to observe. over time
Tess Palma-Martinez: Not only do the thoughts within our ego are thinking mind begin to space out which is a beautiful thing because most people it’s just running endlessly and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: you kind of feel like it’s controlling you in a way sometimes but you can create just a longer space between those thoughts. You’re not going to get rid of those thoughts. We’re human that’s part of our awareness and you don’t even want to get it rid of them. If you could which it’s not possible. It’s just creating the space in between those thoughts and in between those thoughts as the present moment present moment are connected to all of your five senses your site your feeling your smell your hearing if you can connect to any of your senses, You immediately are in the present moment. I feel this that is happening right now. It’s not connected to anything else and it’s neutral. Then the thinking mind comes in and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: assigns We label things as good when they are inherently easy for us. to do this. It’s easy for me to accept this so that this is difficult for me to do. This is difficult for me to accept. So that’s bad. Every person has a different perspective on that as well with just as I said earlier about the reality.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: So if I think something is good, but you think it’s bad. Which one is it? It’s neither.
Elise Kindya: right right Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It just is.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And so that can be confusing but that’s very much connected to in. Yang Theory these opposing forces that only exist because the other exists
Elise Kindya: mmm right polarity creates the other yeah. right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And that is such an interesting. Right, even though they’re Polar Opposites, they only exist because of the other one they have to be there. So if you can see it as that whole symbol of the yin and young symbol, it’s a mbol. It’s just a picture doesn’t it’s not good. It’s not bad. It’s not anything. it’s neutral.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And then within those quadrants then we assign. this is easy and flowing and beautiful and this is difficult and struggle and pain but really it’s not So when you begin to understand those things…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: then as you’re thinking mind is coming in or even as your body is coming in with pain or whatever. You’re Observer can just look at it and say how interesting. And the clients will say I think your favorite word is interesting and I’m like, yeah because it’s the most neutral yet validating. Concept like How interesting. That’s it.
Elise Kindya: right Right,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Nothing else is needed.
Elise Kindya: it holds my attention and yet I have no feeling like no. Judgment, so to say on it besides that it’s interesting as opposed to not being interesting.
Tess Palma-Martinez: right right
Elise Kindya: That’s something I try to tell my
Tess Palma-Martinez: But even that is interesting if something is not interesting, that’s also interesting. It’s something of note.
Elise Kindya: It’s something to note. Yeah. I’ll talk to my clients about that where they’re like, I want to stop being so judgmental and I’m like, okay, but whether you’re saying you like something or you don’t like something those are both judgmental. Being neutral in the middle.
00:55:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Elise Kindya: Okay, you don’t care about anything. I mean it’s important to care and have preferences and I prefer chocolate over vanilla, if I want to experience pleasure in life, I’m getting chocolate ice cream vanilla ice cream. It’s not that Vanilla Ice Creams bad. I just prefer chocolate.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Right, so that actually connects to the next piece outside of the Observer is our We have free will and that’s written into every religious text every scientific test dating throughout history. That’s what makes us different from animals and insects and things like that is we have this awareness of our Free Will and So within that free will space if you can train yourself to validation, Wow, holding the hand of your Observer. That’s where everything starts to shift. If you can validate yourself in every direction of your life. If you have to do something in your body starts to swamp over and you’re like I have to go do that. Don’t do it.
Tess Palma-Martinez: If you’re like, I can’t wait to do this, but I’m a little bit afraid actually and it’s like do that if you like chocolate go with the chocolate if you don’t like vanilla don’t go with vanilla if you’re thinking about this thing.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m thinking about that I’m going for a walk again. You can hear the neutrality in my voice, but You’re following the natural direction of your energy, which is connected to your free will which is connected to your own unique Divine frequency and each person’s frequency is different.
Elise Kindya: how do you know what someone’s frequency is or can you read somebody’s frequency? how does that work?
Tess Palma-Martinez: I cannot read someone’s frequency. We can read frequencies if anyone’s ever had an MRI, that’s what’s happening. So the machine is that big and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: archaic and clunky and loud and whatever because every single person on the planet has their own unique frequency. And when you go into that machine, the machine has to read your frequency and then calibrate itself to produce the same frequency. So that it can then penetrate your energetic field and take pictures inside of your body. And that was told to me by an MRI technician when I was getting an MRI…
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: because I was like, this is 2022. why is this Gene like this? And he said that and I was just whoa.
Elise Kindya: Whoa, so when you get your thing printed out, does it say this is what you’re the bot your body frequency is like 432 megahertz.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I can’t answer It would be very different from that within frequency. Our human bodies are known as a composite frequency because every organ and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: cell and tissue and all of that has its own resonant frequency. So my kidneys frequency is different than my eyeball and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: but as a whole I am a composite frequency and because I am a composite frequency rather than a static fixed frequency. Whereas this glass is a fixed frequency. It has A fixed frequency can entrain or manipulate and sink a composite frequency. It can make this composite frequency shift to match its own and that’s what’s happening in sound healing when I’m facilitating a sound bath and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: playing these singing bowls. They’re made of crystals that have their own resonant frequency that is fixed. And as those frequencies reach out through the space connect with our bodies and ourselves it in trains our cells to vibrate at its pace.
Elise Kindya: Wow, And that’s how you healed…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: what was going on with you back in 2022? Wow, that’s really cool.
Tess Palma-Martinez: exactly Yep.
Elise Kindya: You were getting an MRI. Uh-huh.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I got an MRI and then I was doing sound healing every day. So the situation within that was that I had developed PCOS and…
Elise Kindya: Whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: endometriosis and both of my ovaries were covered in large CIS. I had a ruptured ovarian cyst that sent me to the emergency room and then within that ultrasound They found that I had not only many PCOS CIS kind of like smaller group sizes, but multiple large endometrial cysts. And the biggest one was the size of a grapefruit and…
01:00:00
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: all them were deemed as pending rupture. So they had to put me in for a scheduled emergency surgery date, but I had to get other ultrasounds and then MRI lots of blood work etc. So there was a four-month span in to the surgery. I was January 3rd, I found sound healing at the beginning of February. I was doing sound healing on myself every day and went in for the surgery. I have the scars to prove it woke up from anesthesia and my OB was like, I don’t know what you did but everything had healed there’s nothing inside anymore. So you don’t even have to tell me what you did but just keep doing that. And I left working as a chef and switched into sound really fully.
Elise Kindya: Wow, that’s so amazing. I’m so happy for you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah. Thank you.
Elise Kindya: That’s so good.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I mean, it’s amazing. It’s a miracle and that is another piece of that letting myself be led by something. I followed my curiosity. I chose my energy direction to this thing that then literally changed the Rational frequency of myself and made myself clearer it brought me back into harmony something outside of myself.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: And so that is essentially now…
Elise Kindya: interest
Tess Palma-Martinez: what I’m doing with the universe. It is something outside of myself that is bringing alignment to me.
Elise Kindya: right
Elise Kindya: That’s so awesome.
Elise Kindya: so you’re at your two year anniversary of finding sound healing?
Tess Palma-Martinez: I am I know.
Elise Kindya: That’s exciting.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s been a while. It’s very fast ride. Very a lot of deep work and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: tune first. I’m hosting my own not being invited to facilitate but facilitating my own with my friend Kate who’s another sound healer.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: We’re doing a sound healer training retreat at the same Resort where I first came to nosada and we’re almost sold out already. It’s so amazing and that depth is what is so needed in the space because sound healing is becoming really popular and then I see all these become a sound healer this weekend and it’s like Actually,…
Elise Kindya: Yeah, right. right
Tess Palma-Martinez: and that’s not So when I speak about the depth, really let yourself be there and when you are doing less inherently and you give yourself that space and you’re pouring all of yourself back into yourself, that’s where the depth comes from.
Elise Kindya: I love that. that’s an interesting. I usually ask my guests to because this podcast is called returning home.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay.
Elise Kindya: And I love to ask my guests what returning home means to them and you’ve talked a lot about I…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: I don’t want to put words in your mouth. But yeah, it I have heard you say things that I’m like that sounds like returning home. But yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: what is returning home mean to you?
Tess Palma-Martinez: I guess it is what I am. I am here.
Elise Kindya: Mmm
Elise Kindya: You’re your own home. Always coming back to the present moment.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s knowing yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah. with myself inside of myself
Elise Kindya: right Yeah, I love that.
Tess Palma-Martinez: What is yours?
Elise Kindya: what returning home means to me. today it means
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah today.
Elise Kindya: being in my body and
Elise Kindya: being okay with that. Sometimes I think as women were f*** my body. I hate my body. I feel like crap or whatever it is as far as having our period every month and all we’re feeling pain. and today I feel I’ve been feeling so much better in my body recently because I’ve been doing some weight lifting and changing some things about what I’m eating and I just feel a lot more like buoyant I just feel almost like bouncy in a way I feel light on my feet I feel
Elise Kindya: like ease and just comfort in my body and in a way that I haven’t felt in a long time or I don’t know if I’ve ever been so I’m just like wow, I feel
01:05:00
Elise Kindya: it’s just easier to exist in my body today and That feels really nice every Friday morning. I go to a yoga class and she always has a set Our intention, of course before we get started and Usually mine is be nice things to yourself in your mind because my inner critic is very loud, but she’s been calming down a little bit lately we love her. But yeah today my intention was more. So just an acknowledgment of I just feel good. Thank you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: mmm
Elise Kindya: And so yeah, that’s what it means to me today. Yeah. Thank you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Beautiful. Thank you for sharing that.
Elise Kindya: I did want to ask you about Portugal. Tell us everything.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah So it’s very much connected to nosada and being here choosing to be here. And as I mentioned so July came I facilitated the retreat.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: I started the whole I’m moving here. I met this man really fell in love and thought that I was in love or…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: I wasn’t love with the Persona that he had portrayed and…
Elise Kindya: Yes.
Tess Palma-Martinez: we had a very beautiful relationship within that neutrality of just looking at the relationship. It was a very beautiful experience then when I was moving here the relationship ended and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I still followed that direction of my energy of No, I wanted to move here before I even met him I’m still going and made the move. Within the first Two days of being here once moving. I had met a friend prior and he and his husband they own bed and breakfast here in asada and they’re like, they come to breakfast anytime. We love you and
Tess Palma-Martinez: And that just was I’m moving and whatever and I went was there a couple days and then whatever morning I woke up and I was like, today is the day I want to go to breakfast and I got there and one of the guests that was staying was this guy. His name is Nick now my very good friend, and he was there with his wife and his child and his extended family his father-in-law sister in law and his three best friends from kindergarten which was really interesting and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: and I just connected in this way of we totally know each other from some other place and it was a very fast and deep connection and he’s just a very generous person and has his own life of accomplishments and things and as in a space where he has Financial abundance and
Tess Palma-Martinez: then months go by we’re still friends and this news of this relationship came out that the whole time he was married and he’s like this whole other person that I even didn’t really realize and I was sharing this with Nick the other day and he was just like, my God, this is so crazy and you’ve been dealing with this all yourself you’re there alone and working and I know how much you’re working and I was like, yeah, I know it’s been a lot but it’s also good and I’m just in the flow of the abundance and he’s like you need a vacation and I was like, wouldn’t that be nice? that’s so great, but it’s super high season here and it’ll all be fine. I’m pretty good and we get off the phone have the rest of the day wake up the next morning and my whole email inboxes just this number that Hopper Portugal Lisbon connecting flight hotel like he had booked out.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And a nine day all expenses paid vacation for me. to Portugal
Elise Kindya: That’s amazing. What a guy.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And what a guy so it’s just so nice to receive it. And there was one tiny split moment Within Myself where I was like when I received this and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then I was just like yes, I can receive this.
Elise Kindya: Wow, right,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: I don’t need to do right.
Elise Kindya: that would be so scary to see yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I don’t need to placate and be like, you didn’t need to do that or I really shouldn’t take a vacation right now. It’s like I don’t have any person stuff scheduled for the dates that he happened to book it. All of my clients are virtual. I can be on with them anywhere in the world. That’s the beauty of that and be led.
01:10:00
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: And those are my Mantra words as of late.
Elise Kindya: Yes, and they are absolutely just like ring like you’re just living That’s incredible.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah. It is.
Elise Kindya: That’s so amazing. I’m really happy for you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Thank you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, and…
Elise Kindya: It’s really cool.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And I were all capable of our own unique version of this and that’s what I just want everybody. I mean I had somebody send me a DM the other day. That was like I’ve been watching everything and it’s so amazing and you’re so worth all of this and I’m in the total opposite space where if something doesn’t change. I don’t even know what’s gonna happen and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: I was there honestly most of my life in that space of I battled with deep depression suicidal ideation chronic pain. I mean, it’s like you don’t even conceive that’s anything can be but you are responsible for making those changes and I have a lot of different tools that I’ve really developed over time that The biggest one is I mean look at news resolutions 83% of people fall off at their New Year’s resolution and in less than two weeks and it’s because the goal is just too big make it smaller. It doesn’t have to be so big make it manageable and it’s a smaller stepping stone. It’s the little tiny things instead of I’m gonna go to the gym every day at 7 am so I can lose 52 pounds. It’s whoa, that’s like
Tess Palma-Martinez: whoa There’s 27 tiny little things that need to happen even to get to that one goal.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: right Yeah, so breaking things down into much more manageable pieces that doesn’t overwhelm your system and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: send you back into the sympathetic nervous system.
Tess Palma-Martinez: exactly
Elise Kindya: It’s like let’s actually make this a really easy process.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Easy easeful if you’re feeling resistant, it’s too big. Follow your energy…
Elise Kindya: Yeah. right
Tess Palma-Martinez: if it feels tough, but you’re still like I’m gonna do this then that’s good. If it’s like, I have to do that then it’s too big.
Elise Kindya: right Absolutely. I can relate to that and I think a lot of people listening can relate to that because Yeah, I mean, you’re right we have these really grandiose ideas of I’ve been doing this one thing this way 30 years and I think on January 1st and all of a sudden gonna just completely change the way I live my life.
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Elise Kindya: It’s like No, you’re special but no, right just chunk it down for yourself and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: be kind to yourself. it’s so beautiful. Then when you can see you can look back over if you did decide to make a small change that led to some bigger change. and see wow that path is what I had to walk to get here and That’s really really cool. And Look at how life is unfolding for me, love that for me. That’s awesome. Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Mm- right and that even what you just said of look back and this is the journey I had to take and look how everything’s unfolding. I love that for me. That’s how I feel about all of my past traumas. It’s like,…
Elise Kindya: Mm-hmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: Damn that was intense and I look at where I am. I love that for me. And so those traumas It doesn’t even matter anymore because now I’m here but I did those thousands of tiny micro steps to get here.
Elise Kindya: Right, right and sometimes yeah, the trauma likes if a cell didn’t have to split into two. To make organisms than it wouldn’t like that’s trauma right like splitting yourself in half. That doesn’t feel awesome.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Is it trauma though? That’s where that I would say.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: There are so many accounts of women giving birth that literally have orgasms and say it was the most pleasurable thing. They’ve ever experienced. There’s proof of that so it can be painful or it can be pleasurable. It depends On your perspective again.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s Not you specifically but we are labeling these things as bad or traumatic, but actually that cell and mitosis might be like having the most orgasmic pleasure that it just becomes two things.
Elise Kindya: Wow, it’s like there’s too much good stuff to go around. I gotta spread this around.
Tess Palma-Martinez: right Right. No.
Elise Kindya: I need to make more of this. for sure. Yeah, you’re right. Definitely. But yeah, sometimes the trauma is just part of the story. It’s just part of we’re not going to watch Harry Potter if he didn’t get killed by Voldemort at the end. Sorry spoiler alert, but
01:15:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: I actually didn’t even know that that happened. I think I watched the first two movies and then I was like, yeah, that’s fine. going
Elise Kindya: Yeah. then the thing is actually Voldemort kills the part of himself. That’s inside Harry, but Harry still alive. So it’s like this whole thing.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Harry represents Jesus and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah. right Hello.
Tess Palma-Martinez: the reawakening of the Consciousness. Yes.
Elise Kindya: We’re Harry Potter friends over here. But yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: so Yeah, we have to go through some s***. I mean, it’s The Human Condition. So yeah, what color glasses are we putting on as we’re Maybe sloshing through some of that and how fast can we get out of it and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Elise Kindya: just like, okay that happened. Great good for me. I’m on to the next thing.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And be in it fully in order to have it passed quickly.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: There’s this the way that cows versus Buffalo behave in different weather patterns, if cows are in the pasture and they see a cloud storm coming they will turn around and walk away from the clouds. But then the clouds keep coming and…
Elise Kindya: They keep coming.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so the cows keep going and then all of a sudden they’re miles away from where they need and maybe they’re lost and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: now they have to get all the way back Buffalo see the cloud. They turn toward the cloud and they walk through the storm and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: they get to the other side of the storm faster. And the storm keeps going and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: so if you can be in the deepest lake, that whatever the sensation Be in it fully again. It’s that Whatever is happening fully understand it and be there and then it will pass. All it is looking for is to be acknowledged if you keep running away from it. It’s going to keep chasing you.
Elise Kindya: Right. Yes. so true that some of the work I do with my clients with internal family systems and these exiled parts that are so shoved away and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: then all these behaviors keep coming up because gotta acknowledge. What’s going on over here? Nope, can’t do that. All right. Yeah, we got to turn towards that part and make space for it. As part of your whole system the same way a family lives together in a house. All of these parts live together inside of you and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Elise Kindya: they all deserve to be there. And then right once we do turn towards the thing.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: It’s usually not as bad as we it’s like we get so scared of things and then recently I hadn’t talked to my dad in 15 years. He’s my God.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Been there done that. Yeah.
Elise Kindya: He’s like the scariest person in my mind. He has the same birthday as head Bundy and I’m just living up to that. Looks like Jack Nicholson, Daddy from The Shining. It’s scary.
Tess Palma-Martinez: lighting
Elise Kindya: The day after Christmas I was like, I’m sick of all of our s*** right now. Hello. Is this still your number? I’m over it or we’re talking again. And I’m gonna go see him in March. right and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: amazing man
Elise Kindya: this is something that and it’s funny what we talk about at the identity level. I have always identified as someone I don’t have my father in my life. I’m not talking to my dad. We’re a strange. and now I’m like That identity is no longer I don’t like that’s not my identity. And it never really was like that was just something that …
Tess Palma-Martinez:
Elise Kindya: Where does your dad live? I don’t know. It’s one of my business.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, it was the protection. It was a cool girl. That’s doesn’t no big deal. I don’t have my dad.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m a little bit different and a rebel and whatever and you put these things on ourselves as a safety mechanism.
Elise Kindya: right, right, and now it’s like what I’m gonna just go ahead and break the ice and just see what happens and I mean, we had an hour and a half phone call where he’s inviting me and my husband to come stay with him.
Tess Palma-Martinez: wow, amazing
Elise Kindya: Yeah. I mean it wasn’t the most Pleasant phone call in the world. but I don’t care,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: I just am like I’m done with that. I don’t want to write of course.
Tess Palma-Martinez: But you’re also capable you just showed yourself in such a huge way how capable you are to have that experience and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah. right Right.
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s totally fine. And it’s even continuing. Yes.
Elise Kindya: I was that Buffalo turning towards the storm. Yeah. I’m walking right into that thing. I’m like, all right. I would tell my husband every day. I’m like, what are we doing? Why are we doing this but it’s time to walk into the storm for sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: So I love that analogy. I’m totally gonna Think about that every time that I think about avoiding something difficult.
01:20:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: I’m like And I just avoiding the inevitable half of life is difficult. So why not just Embrace that and be with it and then it’s just part of life.
Tess Palma-Martinez: when I feel like either something tough really happened or…
Elise Kindya: I don’t have to feel so bad about it. Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m just entering into a mood or I’m changing or whatever. I’ll shut myself in my room for A day and a half and I’m usually on the floor and I’m like crying and I’m on my foam roller and I’m moving my body and I’m with it and then a day and a half later. it’s gone.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s out of me and it’s not even gonna repeat again. Whereas in the past, I would push it away and it would go on for weeks or months of I’m just in this space and in this depression and I’m in this angst and whatever but it’s so much shorter if you just go in
Elise Kindya: I love that. I think people If you’re listening, I know that resonated, I you felt that somewhere inside for Is there anything that we haven’t touched on today that you feel like, you really want to share or that feels?
Tess Palma-Martinez: haha
Elise Kindya: Yeah, on the tip of your tongue or something that you just feels very important.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I don’t think so. And I actually feel like I like the way the places that were explored here because a lot of the podcasts that I’m on people are often asking me about sound healing and the science of sound healing and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: all of that and which I love to talk about and that really I feel like would be the only thing left but it’s not necessary in that resource is easily found other places,…
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so I feel like what we’ve said. Is complete other than just reiterating things and the only thing that I can think of is even that Epstein-Barr mono. whatever Your body isn’t doing random stuff. Your body is doing stuff to get your attention.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And they’re just the same analogy.
Tess Palma-Martinez: We were just talking about turn toward it. Don’t be upset and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: pissed off at your body for doing this thing. That is so inconvenient for you. pay attention.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: What is happening? Why is your body trying going to these extreme lengths to get your attention? And it could be emotional. It could be something else but open yourself up to exploring and just being with it and your body will literally tell you things like if I sit and I have this and I have all of my clients implement this and so listeners I suggest this to you, too. Every day sitting in Silence of observation for three minutes. The timer on your phone for three minutes that takes away the pressure of the conscious mind of how long has it been and whatever and you sit and you identify all of your senses? What am I seeing? What behind my eyelids? and if your mind drifts
Tess Palma-Martinez: Then just come back. I drifted it.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It lasted the entire three minutes this time. I came back at the end. It’s a muscle just like your strength training every time you come back to the present moment. You strengthen the trust and that’s where you’re able to get the space between your thoughts. And in that space just as I cultivated space and I was talking about entering in my era of doing less. Then all of these messages can come up and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: your body can start to tell you things or your subconscious can start to show you things or your soul is like hey or a past loved one or you’re Angelic team or I mean, there’s so many other things that we can be paying attention to but we don’t give it the space.
Elise Kindya: and those things can come from just paying attention to the body and being in the five senses. Oh.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, when you’re in the present moment that cultivates the space that you’re needing and then within that space. you’re choosing to be present with yourself. And then that’s where everything comes from.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, definitely. I 100% agree with that for sure you’ve got you 24/7 365 from the day you’re born until That expiration date at the end like you’re with yourself all the time.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: Have fun with yourself. That’s like you’re cool.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, validate do it do follow your energy.
Elise Kindya: Yeah. Yeah, we love.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, is there anything that you would like to leave the listeners with as far as where they can find you how they can interact with you or come to any of your events or trainings or anything like that?
01:25:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: Sure, I’d love to you can find me everywhere at completely That is my business name my website completely golden calm my Instagram completely golden all one word. I have my completely golden sub stack. I have an old two seasons of a podcast completely golden the podcast there are lots of ways to connect and I say this very sincerely I love to connect. So if you want to reach out to me, if you want to send me a DM or an email or anything, please do I absolutely love it and I will respond to you sometimes pretty often. I’ll get people like hey, you’re probably super busy and then the eggs and the voicemail and they’re like, my God a voice note from you and I’m like, yeah, it’s fine. So go for it. I’m here. I learn just as much from all of these conversations and connections. So it’s very mutual.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, that’s great. Thank you. And I’ll definitely get those links from you to put in the show notes. So people can just click on them and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Sure.
Elise Kindya: So that’ll be easy to I was just so much enjoyed this conversation and having you on cut the podcast. Yeah, it’s as we were talking before we hit record Serendipity and just meeting people and I just walked into the mind because I don’t even know how I had heard about it. I was staying in Silverlake East Hollywood and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: wow far
Elise Kindya: I’m like, yeah, I was driving 30 minutes. I signed up for that week. I was driving 30 minutes to get over there In those two weeks.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Wow.
Elise Kindya: I probably went there eight times or something. So it was great.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: I loved it and I loved meeting people and experiencing.
Elise Kindya: Just everything I did that was so cool. yeah, so just the Serendipity of that and I’ve been following you following along with all the things going on with you. So I can attest you are very just cool and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: down and I was like, hey you want to be in my podcast and you were like, yep. So I love that and that’s what life is about is connecting and sharing with each other so Yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And like you said before the recording too,…
Elise Kindya: thank.
Tess Palma-Martinez: you’re like you said Serendipity and then you’re like, but that Serendipity is life. If you pay attention if you let it be serendipitous everything is serendipitous.
Elise Kindya: Right, right. It’s like you really never know what the next moment’s gonna hold. So why pretend that you do? Yeah. Yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Right be open Let It Go.
Elise Kindya: I love that so…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Thank you so much.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, thank you. all right, I’m gonna hit stop and then
Meeting ended after 01:28:00 👋
- Listen to previous episodes of Returning Home:
- Episode 17 | Special Episode! Receive a Reiki Transmission
- Sign up for Elise’s Newsletter and receive a FREE PDF to start your self-compassion journey
- Sign up for Elise’s upcoming event GOLDEN HOUR on 3/23 here!
- Connect with Elise on Instagram: @elisekindya
- Tess Palma-Martinez’s website: www.completelygolden.com
- Connect with Tess on Instagram: @completelygolden
- Subscribe to Tess’ Substack: www.completelygolden.substack.com
TRANSCRIPT:
This editable transcript was computer generated and might contain errors. People can also change the text after it was created.
Elise Kindya: Thank you so much for being here Tess. I’m really excited to get into this conversation. first and foremost, how are you doing today?
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m good. It’s the new moon today and it leading up this whole last week. I was having what felt like and I’ve had struggled with this a long time of chronic Epstein-Barr virus and…
Elise Kindya: wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: it seemed like I was having a relapse and that was actually a little worrisome, but I was trying not to have that pull me down, but for anyone that struggles with it, you understand and it is just the most fatigue and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s not only just fatigue within my body’s tired. I need to rest the fatigue extends into this energetic space and even within the mental capacity where I feel very light-headed and kind of this Buzzy sensation,…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: and I’m not really able to comprehend much and so it really limits my capacity in what I can do as far as work or even having a phone call with yesterday my mom called and Oxford under two minutes and I was like, okay. I have to let you go. I need I can’t and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: and so it’s a really tough space to be in and it can sometimes last between two to even seven weeks or if people have really really chronic fatigue. It can be their life. But today with the new moon, it feels like it’s lifted and then I was sharing about this on my social media and I had quite a few people actually say, my god. I’ve been feeling the same thing and I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know if I was getting sick or what was happening and
Tess Palma-Martinez: just this idea of all moving through so much and we’re all connected to so much all the time. And if we even entertain the ideas of we’re shifting timelines, which I feel like that’s being talked about so much no wonder we’re tired. No wonder I feel dizzy and lightheaded and Buzzy and even if it’s just like something I lightly entertain as an idea. It makes a lot of sense, but then otherwise, it’s like we’re just go going as a whole Collective world society that We really need to slow down and that’s like maybe I mean, we have a whole podcast episode to talk about but that’s my main focus right now is just really important everybody to slow down and do less.
Elise Kindya: I love that. I’m thank you for being here under those conditions of not feeling well having that chronic fatigue. I’ve heard of Epstein-Barr, but I’m not super familiar with what it is. what is
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, it isn’t an immune virus and it’s kind of within the autoimmune sector, but it’s actually kind of its own thing. But sometimes it gets paired with it there and it’s also known as mononucleosis. So for people growing up in the United States is often known as it’s the kissing virus and high school and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: you kiss somebody or you even take a sip of their drink and then all you got mono as a kid, we have stronger immune systems in general. And so yeah, you’re tired you get to skip school for two weeks and have everybody do your homework for you and the teachers kind of understand what that’s like, however when you get it as an adult, it’s much more likely to turn into a chronic issue and I first had my onset when I was 203 just after.
Tess Palma-Martinez: College and I quote unquote moved to Venice Beach, California and I was living and working in a hostel in the boardwalk in Venice Beach and contracted mono there which is super gross and…
Elise Kindya: My God.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then it’s been just this issue and now I’m 36 and tip. So the immune system will regenerate itself 18 So every year and a half your immune system is brand new essentially and that’s also typically the life cycle of the Epstein-Barr virus. So you’ll have an onset and then you have the heightened symptoms and then you go into what’s known as a convalescent phase where your immune system finally conquers and suppresses it but it’s actually just lying dormant within yourself until you are fatigued again until you’re burnt out and…
Elise Kindya: my God.
Tess Palma-Martinez: you’ve been too stressed or you have a food allergy that you haven’t been paying attention to or whatever the situations are and The people with varying degrees of immune system States, like I mentioned some people are living with this all the time. There is a really great documentary that came out on Netflix. I think it was called Hysteria. and really one I really think that that’s the name of the documentary…
00:05:00
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: but It was talking about the diagnosis of Hysteria. That was placed on women many years ago and…
Elise Kindya: right by mail doctors
Tess Palma-Martinez: that by male doctors, right and they now in hindsight are looking and it’s like, actually we think they all just had Epstein-Barr.
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: We think that they just were so run down and could not function with this level of fatigue that they were fainting and that you see that with the hysteria like women fainting passing out, but then there’s also that component of a little bit of delusion and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: because it’s coming from the brain fog part of it when you’re not able to comprehend and especially for long durations of time actually any person who has an illness that is sustained for a long period of time. It starts to mess with your mind you get into this fear space of is this…
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: what it’s gonna be like forever and I stuck here and…
Elise Kindya: right right
Tess Palma-Martinez: then other things start to kind of spin out and you become paranoid and all of that. So it’s been something I mean what 13 years now that I’ve been working with and trying to figure out and I’ve been told by so many doctors that it’s not
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s not able to be healed or to totally go away. But then I also have heard from other people…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: who are more spiritual that are like, definitely you can eradicate that from your system and Epstein-Barr virus is connected to herpes which more and more is coming out that pretty much everything stems back to herpes as its basis. I mean whether that is within the HPV family or the chicken pox is also a form of Herpes and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so point I think it’s four nines in a row. If not more percent of the human population has herpes and it’s just expressed in all of these different ways. So it’s essentially accurate to say that every person on the planet has for bees, but some people they get them as cold sores some people it’s something else…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: but if you’ve had chicken pox if your mother who birthed you had any form of Herpes, you inherently have herpes you can get it from the kid in the sandbox. You can get it from a kiss when you’re in high school. It doesn’t really matter and it’s not even As gross of a thing, I think as people think and again it’s being expressed in different ways.
Elise Kindya: This has been a conversation coming up a lot in my sessions with people whether it’s STDs or herpes specifically or the body mind connection and have so much in the west we feel like our mind and our body are two separate things when obviously they’re living inside of the same organism sure our mind can go and think about things but it’s interesting that you say what you said earlier because You know how our physical health affects our mental health a lot of times. I mean the bodies talking up to the Mind 80% of the time. So the way our body feels is very much influencing our thoughts and our mood and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: and the other way our thoughts can influence our bodies, too.
Elise Kindya: yeah. Sure.
Elise Kindya: Absolutely. It’s just an easier pathway for the body to go down to I feel I’m gonna think s***, that’s just…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yep.
Elise Kindya: how the body is Set up. So that’s a lot of the work that I do with my clients. So that’s interesting that this is where the conversation went right off the bat because yeah, I mean and I know the work that you do with your clients is very much about I’ll let you talk more about what you do with your clients, but very much about this mind. I don’t want to call it mindset work. I don’t want to put a label on it. I want you to talk about it yourself. But yeah, what there was something else you just said. And I wanted to say something about it, but I don’t.
Elise Kindya: If it comes back to me, it’ll come back to me. But yeah, so what is for my audience for people that might not know you how would you describe your work or your place in the world and just you as a person? How would you describe yourself?
Tess Palma-Martinez: How would I describe myself? I am here to be as clear of a frequency that I can be in my own unique way and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: I help other people to do the same. And essentially it’s interesting that you say mindset work and I would say a part of me wants to be absolutely not I don’t do mindset work, but then I think holistically that is part of it for essentially what I’m doing within helping people to connect with their own frequency and I use that language intentionally because it’s very scientific and I’m a big science nerd if you couldn’t tell by my entire monologue about the Barr virus
00:10:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: So within our frequency state so much is affecting that and that is the state of our body it is the state of our mind it is the state of our external environment and more sometimes even the state of our deep internal subconscious space and so that’s the piece of me that wants to push against the mindset work thing…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: because the mindset really focuses on the ego and the conscious mind the thinking mind where as I’m really helping people to connect with their sense of observation the neutral part of themselves and…
Elise Kindya: .
Tess Palma-Martinez: with that neutrality, you’re able to witness everything that’s happening without the desire to implement your own will or to try and I emphasize the word try to control because
Tess Palma-Martinez: That control is not a thing. You control does not exist. But our entire Society It is formed literally around the essence of perceived control. So when you strip that away and you realize I am literally not in control of anything unless I actively hold my breath. Yeah, we can control quote unquote some of the aspects inside of ourselves. We can control our thoughts to a degree to strengthen that sense of observation but anything outside of ourselves is absolutely beyond our control and most of what is happening within your body. And what is being projected out from your subconscious is also beyond your control. So our ability to control things is miniscule, but we think we have this big overreaching kind of like Barbarian ask I’m gonna make this work for the desired outcome that I want and
Elise Kindya: are
Tess Palma-Martinez: So the people don’t even know why they want that outcome and it could be going directly against their natural frequency. So that’s essentially…
Elise Kindya: wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: what I’m doing with the clients.
Elise Kindya: I love that that’s such so when we are not in control of anything. Except maybe holding our breath. How do we feel empowered in our lives or is that something that you?
Elise Kindya: I don’t know. You don’t want to impose an outcome on your clients. But is that something that? is important to you or what’s important to you in terms of the work that you’re doing or…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Hey.
Elise Kindya: just how you’re living in the world and Is it empowerment is it you said I’m here. I’m just present. I want to be a Clear Channel and help, people understand their own frequency. But yeah, if we’re not in control because I totally get you Our society very much is hold on for dear life like White Knuckle it and pretend that you lie to yourself and pretend that you have control over this thing.
Elise Kindya: So yeah, then if somebody’s listening to that and is not familiar with this concept of control isn’t real. So then what’s the point?
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s literally to enjoy everything and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: the opposite of trying to control is to let yourself be led. And my business at this point is 100% passively driven. I don’t do anything. You invited me on this podcast. I get invited places and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: then I show up fully. But I don’t make those things happen and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so by releasing that control. Yeah, I can feel scary for people especially at the beginning because that’s the only thing that they’ve known, but I can give an example of a client that I was working with and She was so I mean probably of all of my clients I could say the most in that space of perceived control and she at one point was even trying to tell me what reality was and I was like, there is no reality. Your reality is different than mine is different from that person. So that inherently implies that reality does not exist. tell me what is your worst case scenario? And she had a little difficulty trying to understand how to explain it and then she ended up explaining her life exactly how it was in that moment.
00:15:00
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: And I was like, do you hear what you just said and she was like what and I was like you just described your life right now and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: she was like, whoa, and I was like you’re currently living in your own personal hell and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: you got there by controlling everything. So why don’t you try something else? And it was a really intense perspective shift and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: that I’ve found is perhaps a gift of mine. I’m not sure but that’s the consistent feedback I get from clients is my ability to reframe and provide these big perspective shifts.
Elise Kindya: Wow, that’s so powerful. I’m imagining being that client and just being what? wow, yeah, that’s so important and Right, how we got here isn’t in our control. but being able to look at that and say I’m gonna be led. I’m gonna enjoy my life. I’m here for pleasure. I’m in a human body that has all these senses. Why not soak that up a little bit? I had a client recently that she said something about. she’s afraid of being happy because she’s so familiar with being sad. And if she can’t be happy 100% of the time there’s no point in being happy. And I was like, Are you sad a hundred percent of the time?
Elise Kindya: And she said no and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Wow.
Elise Kindya: I said, okay, so you’re willing to give up being happy because you can’t be happy 100% of the time, but you’re not willing to give up being sad. but you just admitted you aren’t sad 100% of the time. and trauma and all of these things like people don’t have control over every single part of how they ended up in this moment that they’re in. But then when we look at what the choices that we’re making and we’re like okay. I did.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay, that’s the responsibility.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, I don’t want to keep doing that. So. Yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: it’s really powerful work. So you had Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, you said just to add into that. You said that you can’t control how you get here or the fact that you’re here here where you are and I would say that is true. And you are absolutely responsible for where you are at that point and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: it doesn’t matter what happened to you in your life. and it’s not any competition and everyone’s trauma is their own highest point of trauma for what they have experienced. And I have a very small window of tolerance for people who use their trauma as a crutch because I have experienced so much trauma. And it is absolutely possible to create that distance from yourself and your trauma through that strengthened observation to then you don’t take it personally anymore. It’s not even part of you and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: a lot of the stories that I share people are. wow, you just shared this really crazy experience that you had in your past and you’re totally fine you’ve seen even Joyful that it happened, but you’re Totally fine and sharing that story and you’re just living your life now and I’m like, yeah because that’s how I feel. It is not attached to me. It is not part of my identity anymore because I see that it was just something that I experienced and I learned X Y and Z tools and it hurt that version of me and these different ways but it’s not still here. And so every time I return back to it with my thinking mind, I’m really wounding myself and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: that piece is my responsibility.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, right that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, thank you for sharing that.
Elise Kindya: So when you say that that thing happened to a past version of yourself. Do you feel So that thing hasn’t happened to this present version of yourself.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: Right, okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I mean even in a scientific way all of my cells in every aspect of my body has regenerated so many times between that happened to the time now that it actually literally physically tangibly did not happen to that same person. and then also within my mental landscape I have Found and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s not even important. I don’t think to really find where it lives within the subconscious as much as we’re thinking it does but Finding for me. I did find a lot of where that lives and then giving myself the things that I needed to feel healed and to feel nurtured from myself. It’s not about rewriting the past because that you can’t do it existed, but it’s coming to terms with that existence. It’s saying okay that happened that’s interesting. That was difficult.
00:20:00
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: Wow, but you’re looking at it in that neutral Observer aspect and noticing that’s not happening to me right now in this moment. I’m safe right now in this moment. I feel kind of good and the sun is shining and I just ate a really good meal. Whatever it is. Even if you are feeling sad and triggered by something. Just notice that but it might be triggering a memory or an aspect that’s stuck in your body from the past. But that thing isn’t happening again right now, but we get stuck on that.
Elise Kindya: right Right. That’s what I love so much about the work that I do with EMDR because we are going back into a memory, but they’re the beginning part of that is always to remind the body that this isn’t happening right now. We’re going back for the purpose of healing of bringing something that past version of yourself needed whether it was protection or…
Tess Palma-Martinez: mmm
Elise Kindya: nurturing or something like that, but That’s the only reason we’re going back to think about it is to heal from it. It’s not to dwell in it. it’s to actually show the body that’s completely over. It has a beginning a middle and an end and it can’t happen again. And so yeah this is where I think that Mind Body disconnection comes because the mind just that can go anywhere it wants to go.
Elise Kindya: And live that thing from 20 years ago or whatever over and over again, but then mindfulness that’s been such a big part of my life is mindfulness and bringing myself back into my body and saying my feet are right here. My body is here when I look around I’m safe. Everything’s okay. And getting back into that parasympathetic nervous system, I don’t need to be turned on right now. I don’t need to be hyper Vigilant right now. noticing what just feels neutral or even good in my body as opposed to…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay. exactly Yeah,…
Elise Kindya: what feels bad.
Elise Kindya: I love that so.
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s perceived threat versus actual threat and…
Elise Kindya: actual right
Tess Palma-Martinez: I learned that from my mom. She was She works in a Maximum Security Prison as a therapist in the mental health sector and…
Elise Kindya: that’s right. Wow.
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: that is like something that she’s talking with the clients. All day long is this a perceived threat or an actual threat and if you can have the awareness through observation to even ask yourself that in the moment, so I mean most of the time we are not in an actual threat moment.
Elise Kindya: life-changing right
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s mostly a perceived threat and that is that similar. Achieved control piece and so if our mind is wandering and We’re looping and we’re doing all of these things. It is your responsibility to train yourself out of that. To not be traumatizing yourself.
Elise Kindya: 100%
Tess Palma-Martinez: And if you feel like you’re at the whim of other people you actually need to step up for yourself and start doing something differently. No one else can do that for you?
Elise Kindya: right It’s so true. I love that I feel like you told me your mom was a therapist and I had forgotten that so that’s really cool. Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, it’s like there’s so many healers and my family on both sides generationally.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s really amazing to see and I think a lot of people will healers as shamans and Mystics and things like that, but it’s like actually no my dad’s father was a dentist and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: he worked in Impoverished neighborhoods of Brazil giving out free dental services.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: He’s a Healer. My mom works in the prison system as a therapist.
Elise Kindya: Absolutely.
Tess Palma-Martinez: She’s a Healer like that my aunt’s it’s all there and these different ways and anything that we do we could look at ourselves as a Healer. It’s about honoring…
Elise Kindya: Right,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: what we’re doing.
Elise Kindya: right and knowing that. Something that I kind of identify with is we have these human bodies. They are going to expire one day We don’t have forever in these meat suits, life is kind of inherently traumatic in that way. we get a sunburn we eat something it gives us a stomach ache. We get mono and our fatigued or whatever it is. those are inherently just hard things that our body has to go through but
00:25:00
Elise Kindya: wait, what was I saying? Let me make a note because I’m like three PM. Okay,
Elise Kindya: And yeah, be letting ourselves just experience the pleasure at the same time. it’s like nobody is getting out of this thing alive. So
Tess Palma-Martinez: What a way to put it.
Elise Kindya: we don’t have yeah,…
Elise Kindya: right we don’t have to dwell on how hard it is at every moment because Yeah, this is what it is for right now.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, literally.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Right and you don’t need to make it hard at every moment either. That’s the other thing.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, right.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s like we make things so difficult and something that I explored recently. It was I have this mono thing and the main symptom is fatigue. In general, I feel like just tired and kind of burnt out all the time. And every person I talk to in the world says the same thing so societally we’re kind of burnt out.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay, so if I just Lay here in child’s pose for a while and just notice how My body is hausted. my God. No wonder I feel so tired. My body is literally exhausted. So okay. I’m just gonna move a little bit and wow. I don’t even have the muscle structure to move my body in that micro way, but then I’m a wrecked and moving around the world at Hyper Speed during my day, but then I actually don’t even have them muscles to hold myself up during the day and so that’s actually making me exhausted. I physically can’t hold myself up, but I’m forcing myself up and so
Tess Palma-Martinez: Pairing it back and just allowing yourself to do less and build the foundation from inside out and that can be in the micro muscles. I’m mentioning but it can also be in the mind or it can be within the spirit. There are all of these spaces that we just need to do less and be there with it rather than trying to distract ourselves away from it. Because it’s never going to resolve at that point.
Elise Kindya: right absolutely, so It was so interesting following you since I met you in the fall of 2022 and getting some readings from you and coming to the spiritual Girls Club and all of that kind of stuff and then seeing that you were leading Retreats and things like that. And then I had this feeling when I was following you at one point you I have big news coming and I was like, she’s moving to Costa Rica. I just could tell you looked so happy when you’re on that. Read I was like are you moving and you were like, yes, so I would just love to hear more about and I know you said earlier about everything so passive in your life like your business just kind of runs itself. I invited you on this podcast you get invitations to do things.
Elise Kindya: I just would love to hear a little bit more about that process or just how obviously I’m sure it feels really good, but While also holding this base of your body is tired. And you are doing a lot of things. I mean you did just go through this whole moving countries selling all that stuff. So yeah, I would just love to hear more about this passive kind of manifestation process that you do.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, I loved your reference back to when we met and I was really beginning my path within the spiritual world at that time.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: and so I was having to kind of Blush out that foundational work. I was just met mentioning before that. I was working as a private Chef or celebrities in LA and I was doing that for years and that really burned me out. I mean my body was literally dying I ended up in the emergency room had to have emergency surgery and…
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: within that space I found sound healing and sound healing healed The frequencies healed me and…
Elise Kindya: Holy Show
Tess Palma-Martinez: without really knowing okay, I’m spending all of my free time looking at the moon thinking about the moon at the acupuncturist talking about meridians and shocker points, and I’m trying infrared sauna and cold plunges and I went to nutrition school. I like to know how the frequency of food is in the body everything that you do is naturally in the spiritual realm and so I don’t need to be here like cooking for people in their kitchens anymore. That doesn’t make sense. But I also don’t really know how to do this. And so I was kind of like a toddler just like where when we met I was working.
00:30:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: That part time behind the front desk of a meditation studio. And that was literally the first step into this world of I need to be making some sort of income minimum wage part-time week is not going to support me but it’s something and then after three months it was like, we need to last minute sub for this class. Are you available? And I was like, yes and so next level up and then I got a job working at unplug studio in LA and very quickly became one of their top teachers and had multiple classes a week and hosting workshops and doing this spiritual Girls Club and I was trying things out like you mentioned readings. I don’t even do readings anymore. So it’s like things come in and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s like, I’m good at that. But that doesn’t feel quite right. It’s depletes my energy and it’s not really what is exciting. Whereas sound healing like I can’t get enough of that. And so I’m gonna shift and to that direction a little bit more and then I also like being in community and so I’m going to create this group called spiritual Girls Club and just allowing myself to kind of play in that space But at the same time and this is the reality for so many people is I was living in one of the most expensive cities of the world and working part-time as a sound healer.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And it was like, I am just starting out in this sector, even if it was six months or a year into it. That’s still very new. How do I create this income for myself? I need a certain amount of money every month just to break even just to pay for my apartment that is already so expensive. Plus. I have a roommate it’s just overwhelming and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: at a certain point and It was April of 2023 and I kind of hit this space Of surrender because I had been pushing so hard and trying to control things for my desired outcome so hard and what that looked like was.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Pitching my ideas to and good online magazine or this other online space or reaching out to so-and-so because I had a vaid connection and maybe I could get on there like morning talk show or I’m gonna go to the studio and try to get another weekly class and nothing was working out and so it felt really frustrating of I’m doing all of this work. This is what I hear from everybody of what I should be doing is marketing myself and networking and make sure you make eye contact and have a firm handshake and whatever BS and I was doing it to the point of no return literally. I was not receiving a return on any of these things and I was fairly making ends me I had to even borrow $500 from my mom.
Tess Palma-Martinez: What comes before April March of I just can’t make my rent. I need to buy a borrow 400-500. and then April came and I was depleted that’s the best word. I was just out of it. I was out of the lake mental courage to keep reaching out to people I was out of the The mental generation of content even to be posting online. my body was tired. I felt defeated financially and Literally I gave up and what that meant was.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I stopped everything I stopped sending out newsletters. I stopped my podcast. I stopped following up with people that was such my main source of trigger was through the email space and following up because somebody didn’t reply to me within a quote unquote appropriate time frame and I felt like they were wasting my time. But really now I see it. I was wasting my own time they were never gonna get back to me. I don’t need to push them for an answer. I just stopped instead in that time. I went to the park or the beach and I listened to a nonsense podcast that I wasn’t learning anything that was important. I’m not learning anything anymore either I don’t need more I need less.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: And then that’s when things started to shift and I started to kind of pay attention to this divine feminine energy. And I don’t really talk about this within my work very much because I believe it’s bigger than that and it’s also a little polarizing in the way that people respond to you the energy of divine feminine concept. But it is at its Essence Yin energy with yin and yang the yin is passive that does not mean permissive. And that is a big distinction and…
00:35:00
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: it also does not mean It means But with true vulnerability has the You are the strongest in your own core that you can completely open with trust to receive.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And simultaneously be sending out that frequency signal. I am not to be messed with. Don’t even try it. And that is I think what people are afraid of letting go of their perceived control is I’m gonna be weak and then people are going to take advantage of me. they’re already taking advantage of you now because you’re holding on so tight and you’re resisting and that would we resist persist if you completely open and you have a solid foundation in yourself, people are not going to try they’re like, no, she’s way too sturdy in herself.
Elise Kindya: right right
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m not even gonna go there. And when I started to see that shift. All of a sudden these things started coming in. I had literally made space and within the manifestation World they say that a lot. It’s like, you need to make space to call in the things that you want, but I don’t think people really truly know what that means. Yeah, clean out your bedside table of your calling in a partner and you want and put a rose there whatever I I think that’s more surface level whatever the deeper work is Actually making space within your life and within that space then you become your number one priority.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: All of that space that I was spending writing newsletters recording editing and Publishing podcasts sending out emails trying to get contacts and work following up. all of that clutter. I released that and then turned toward myself. That space was filled and with me not with now I have space. Come on manifestations come find me at that point. I didn’t care…
Tess Palma-Martinez: if it came to me or not because I was filled in my own way. and then I moved to Costa Rica and I’ll share that in one moment, but since a lake leap ahead slightly I have since Completely moved to Costa Rica. I live in the jungle. I have my dream car. I have a completely passively run business. I am invited constantly. I just manifested or I’m not even going to use that word much anymore.
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I received a nine day complete all expenses paid vacation to Portugal out of the blue.
Elise Kindya: I need to hear about I saw you posted about that and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Elise Kindya: was like that’s so freaking cool. my God, what are you gonna be doing? Starting to interrupt you if you’re…
Tess Palma-Martinez: We’ll get there and…
Elise Kindya: if you are still going go ahead.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so all of this stuff has come because of that seed that was planted back in April and just really really opening myself up and allowing myself to be led and that is I would say the biggest piece the knowing that I am completely taken care of at all times. No matter if s*** is hitting the fan and it’s really difficult or I’m being washed over with free vacations It doesn’t matter. None of those things are better than the other. It’s just an experience and that’s that piece of the Observer of just witnessing and allowing whatever it is to be.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And I’m not taking it so personally and I know that this thing is going to change and it’s gonna ebb and flow and this bad time will pass so will this good time and that’s just the cycle of life. You can’t attach those things completely So comes July and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: I equally had passively received an invitation to facilitate a retreat in Costa Rica and nosara and July comes and the second day of the retreat. I was already moving here. It was so fast. I was at the point of Lake complete. I did not want to be anywhere near La anymore. Just way too disregulating. So many people so much pollution the concrete grid everywhere. expensive all of that And I come here and I’m like, my God, this is where I’ve been looking for my entire life. I have been searching the planet my entire life looking for this place and…
00:40:00
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: the ease of that move was like nothing else that I’ve experienced. I mean you need to think that there would need to be some amount of effort or planning or whatever to move to a new country and nothing. it was like everything took care of itself. And I mean, I sold my car for the exact amount that I wanted in cash within 20 minutes of me listing it.
Elise Kindya: what? whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: And the person came he drove it for five minutes. He was a mechanic buying it for his daughter and was This is an amazing car. How much should you want here? It is in cash and it was gone and it was like Okay. was that too easy and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah, right.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then it wasn’t too easy. It was easeful and let it be useful and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: I mean, I sold everything all of my belongings. I had three weeks back in LA to sell everything and every Sunday for three weeks. I had a garage sale on the corner right across the street from the farmers market which happened to be outside of my window and at the end of those three weeks. The only thing I had was one small box of miscellaneous objects that someone who actually came to the garage sale offered to donate and bring to the Goodwill for me. And otherwise everything had sold of an entire life’s worth and…
Elise Kindya: amazing
Tess Palma-Martinez: I moved to Costa Rica. Trials and tribulations within that as well. I had met someone who I thought was my Divine partner and turned out to be with complete opposite of that, but I still moved here and…
Elise Kindya: No.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I still feel happy about moving here and everything
Elise Kindya: you met that much when you were on that retreat in the summertime and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: when I was on that Retreat,…
Elise Kindya: then Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: yeah, and then I was like gonna be moving here to be with him and all of it and…
Elise Kindya: wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: that it turned out that he’s fully married and has a family and lots of other crazy things…
Elise Kindya: I Wow,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: but It was painful and…
Elise Kindya: I’m sorry.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m so grateful for that Observer part of me that I had cultivated because I was able to just be with the grief in the moment and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: processed it so quickly so fast and then it left my body. and then Being here and now I have this entire Standalone house, which I’ve always only lived in apartments. I was living in New York City for a long time you get used to like Someone’s on the left. someone’s below you someone’s in front and now I have an entire house that is not attached to any other building.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And a full I’m looking at it right now old view of the ocean. There is the canopy of the Jungle and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then right after is the ocean and I can drive there in my literal dream car that I have been dreaming of since a child sitting in my driveway and…
Elise Kindya: my God.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I can drive to that ocean in under five minutes.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: so it’s like Just For radical alignment allowing the space of radical alignment and letting go of the control of what you think that you need because there’s something outside of yourself is aligning everything for you and your perception of control is creating resistance from that you are resisting what is possible for you and…
Elise Kindya: Please
Tess Palma-Martinez: like I said, I don’t even want to say the word manifestation. I’m just receiving I’m allowing myself to be aligned and I had a very very prominent astrology my first ever birth chart astrology. Yesterday and…
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: she like wine. She actually approached me. She gave me a free birth chart reading again offered.
Elise Kindya: Of course. Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Because she had heard me on the expanded podcast and did my birth chart and was like, my God, I have to tell her what’s coming and it’s huge. And so she was like, so just get ready write your manifestation list get yourself ready before she could even finish that sentence. I was like, no I’m not writing a manifestation list because that will limit me. What is meant for me is so much bigger than I can even conceive and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: if I put it on a piece of paper. I’m limiting myself. I’m inherently trying to control the outcome. So I am just completely open to being led and being aligned. And that’s…
00:45:00
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: where I am and I’ll pause there because that was a long monologue, but I also can share about Portugal.
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, wow, I guess something I have a question about then is that I mean and thank you for sharing all of that. I mean, my God, it’s so inspiring. It’s and as you were walking through it and I’m like getting the visuals in my mind of all of what that was like being on the retreat, which is also just it’s own dream experience to be a facilitator on a retreat in Costa Rica. That’s super cool. I didn’t realize that you had just started with sound healing and all of that just in the fall of 2022. summertime Maybe
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, I had started at the beginning it was. Let’s see. I had the ruptured cyst that sent me to the emergency room January 3rd of 2022. So the very beginning of 22 and…
Elise Kindya: I’ll try.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then I found sound healing in February. So by the time we met had been…
Elise Kindya: Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: however many months that is and then
Elise Kindya: Interesting. I mean, I think it seems like you’re very quick with something happens or…
Tess Palma-Martinez: yes.
Elise Kindya: something is put in front of you and you can say yes or no and when you say yes, you’re just going and that’s the path that you’re taking. Yeah. Because yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yes. Yeah.
Elise Kindya: that’s something and sure we’re talking about people maybe that don’t have the same.
Elise Kindya: Philosophy or outlook on life. But yeah people that are maybe in that same kind of space that they weren’t invited to do sound healing on a retreat or they haven’t, man received all these things. but right it’s just a matter of deciding that that’s what you wanted to have happen and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: yeah.
Elise Kindya: for Being open to whatever it was going to be but yeah like saying someone here. Okay, great. going forward
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, and that’s simple and just getting out of your own way with that and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: Within human design. I’m a manifesting generator. And so that is kind of inherent in my type.
Elise Kindya: Me too.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s easier for us to do that kind of thing. But also it is directly connected to…
Elise Kindya: Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: how much are you connected to yourself worth? How much do you trust yourself? If you don’t trust yourself, and it’s not going to be easy to choose yourself.
Elise Kindya: I mean absolutely. I loved what you said earlier about being at the core of yourself, you can be completely open to trust because nobody can take away what’s inside of you. Nobody can take Away,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: who you believe yourself to be or the foundations that you lay for yourself or how you exist in the world? There’s no I mean sure we can get broken in situations or whatever but nobody can actually break into your house and steal that from you kind of thing. it’s yours. nobody could ever take it so.
Tess Palma-Martinez: but
Elise Kindya: That’s something I try to help my clients too is How do you want to identify yourself? who do you know yourself to be? That’s so important. It doesn’t matter what your dad said. It doesn’t matter what your teacher said. It doesn’t matter what the neighbor said? Who cares? What do you think? How do you feel about yourself?
Elise Kindya: What is here? But then also our purpose in life is to experience pleasure and pleasure isn’t just neutral there’s pleasure and there’s pain and then there’s neutrality kind of in the middle of that
Elise Kindya: yeah, just curious Your thoughts on that does the neutral Observer experience pleasure, or is it more of like our ego that experiences pleasure? Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yes, so there are different parts of ourselves and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: we’re strengthening these different parts of ourselves rather than being one actually disconnected, but somewhat homogeneous blob. We are understanding.
Elise Kindya: All right.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I have my body that has its own total wisdom stored information needs desires capacity for pleasure. That’s my body. Then I have my I have this amazing ability this brain power to daydream and think about things and wow, and that conversation. I wish I had said this and all of I mean, it is beautiful inherently, even though it can cause us so much perceived suffering and then we have our Observer part of the mind and then there’s a subconscious as well, which is another whole thing, but the Observer is neutral.
00:50:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: So it is not experiencing pleasure. Just like you said it is neutral.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: It is often in different texts within psychology and the spiritual World known to be connected to the seat of your soul. So this is the place where your soul resides and watches. Our soul similar to if you want to think about Angelic energy or Define energy, All of those energies are inherently neutral, but also loving There is endless empathy and compassion and understanding and a little bit of humor in there. But it is inherently neutral.
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It has no personal desire. And that is what makes it neutral. It doesn’t need an outcome. It doesn’t need an explanation. It just sits and we do watch TV or movie. When you have that ability to observe. over time
Tess Palma-Martinez: Not only do the thoughts within our ego are thinking mind begin to space out which is a beautiful thing because most people it’s just running endlessly and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: you kind of feel like it’s controlling you in a way sometimes but you can create just a longer space between those thoughts. You’re not going to get rid of those thoughts. We’re human that’s part of our awareness and you don’t even want to get it rid of them. If you could which it’s not possible. It’s just creating the space in between those thoughts and in between those thoughts as the present moment present moment are connected to all of your five senses your site your feeling your smell your hearing if you can connect to any of your senses, You immediately are in the present moment. I feel this that is happening right now. It’s not connected to anything else and it’s neutral. Then the thinking mind comes in and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: assigns We label things as good when they are inherently easy for us. to do this. It’s easy for me to accept this so that this is difficult for me to do. This is difficult for me to accept. So that’s bad. Every person has a different perspective on that as well with just as I said earlier about the reality.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: So if I think something is good, but you think it’s bad. Which one is it? It’s neither.
Elise Kindya: right right Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It just is.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And so that can be confusing but that’s very much connected to in. Yang Theory these opposing forces that only exist because the other exists
Elise Kindya: mmm right polarity creates the other yeah. right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And that is such an interesting. Right, even though they’re Polar Opposites, they only exist because of the other one they have to be there. So if you can see it as that whole symbol of the yin and young symbol, it’s a mbol. It’s just a picture doesn’t it’s not good. It’s not bad. It’s not anything. it’s neutral.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And then within those quadrants then we assign. this is easy and flowing and beautiful and this is difficult and struggle and pain but really it’s not So when you begin to understand those things…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: then as you’re thinking mind is coming in or even as your body is coming in with pain or whatever. You’re Observer can just look at it and say how interesting. And the clients will say I think your favorite word is interesting and I’m like, yeah because it’s the most neutral yet validating. Concept like How interesting. That’s it.
Elise Kindya: right Right,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Nothing else is needed.
Elise Kindya: it holds my attention and yet I have no feeling like no. Judgment, so to say on it besides that it’s interesting as opposed to not being interesting.
Tess Palma-Martinez: right right
Elise Kindya: That’s something I try to tell my
Tess Palma-Martinez: But even that is interesting if something is not interesting, that’s also interesting. It’s something of note.
Elise Kindya: It’s something to note. Yeah. I’ll talk to my clients about that where they’re like, I want to stop being so judgmental and I’m like, okay, but whether you’re saying you like something or you don’t like something those are both judgmental. Being neutral in the middle.
00:55:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Elise Kindya: Okay, you don’t care about anything. I mean it’s important to care and have preferences and I prefer chocolate over vanilla, if I want to experience pleasure in life, I’m getting chocolate ice cream vanilla ice cream. It’s not that Vanilla Ice Creams bad. I just prefer chocolate.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Right, so that actually connects to the next piece outside of the Observer is our We have free will and that’s written into every religious text every scientific test dating throughout history. That’s what makes us different from animals and insects and things like that is we have this awareness of our Free Will and So within that free will space if you can train yourself to validation, Wow, holding the hand of your Observer. That’s where everything starts to shift. If you can validate yourself in every direction of your life. If you have to do something in your body starts to swamp over and you’re like I have to go do that. Don’t do it.
Tess Palma-Martinez: If you’re like, I can’t wait to do this, but I’m a little bit afraid actually and it’s like do that if you like chocolate go with the chocolate if you don’t like vanilla don’t go with vanilla if you’re thinking about this thing.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m thinking about that I’m going for a walk again. You can hear the neutrality in my voice, but You’re following the natural direction of your energy, which is connected to your free will which is connected to your own unique Divine frequency and each person’s frequency is different.
Elise Kindya: how do you know what someone’s frequency is or can you read somebody’s frequency? how does that work?
Tess Palma-Martinez: I cannot read someone’s frequency. We can read frequencies if anyone’s ever had an MRI, that’s what’s happening. So the machine is that big and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: archaic and clunky and loud and whatever because every single person on the planet has their own unique frequency. And when you go into that machine, the machine has to read your frequency and then calibrate itself to produce the same frequency. So that it can then penetrate your energetic field and take pictures inside of your body. And that was told to me by an MRI technician when I was getting an MRI…
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: because I was like, this is 2022. why is this Gene like this? And he said that and I was just whoa.
Elise Kindya: Whoa, so when you get your thing printed out, does it say this is what you’re the bot your body frequency is like 432 megahertz.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I can’t answer It would be very different from that within frequency. Our human bodies are known as a composite frequency because every organ and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: cell and tissue and all of that has its own resonant frequency. So my kidneys frequency is different than my eyeball and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: but as a whole I am a composite frequency and because I am a composite frequency rather than a static fixed frequency. Whereas this glass is a fixed frequency. It has A fixed frequency can entrain or manipulate and sink a composite frequency. It can make this composite frequency shift to match its own and that’s what’s happening in sound healing when I’m facilitating a sound bath and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: playing these singing bowls. They’re made of crystals that have their own resonant frequency that is fixed. And as those frequencies reach out through the space connect with our bodies and ourselves it in trains our cells to vibrate at its pace.
Elise Kindya: Wow, And that’s how you healed…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: what was going on with you back in 2022? Wow, that’s really cool.
Tess Palma-Martinez: exactly Yep.
Elise Kindya: You were getting an MRI. Uh-huh.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I got an MRI and then I was doing sound healing every day. So the situation within that was that I had developed PCOS and…
Elise Kindya: Whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: endometriosis and both of my ovaries were covered in large CIS. I had a ruptured ovarian cyst that sent me to the emergency room and then within that ultrasound They found that I had not only many PCOS CIS kind of like smaller group sizes, but multiple large endometrial cysts. And the biggest one was the size of a grapefruit and…
01:00:00
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: all them were deemed as pending rupture. So they had to put me in for a scheduled emergency surgery date, but I had to get other ultrasounds and then MRI lots of blood work etc. So there was a four-month span in to the surgery. I was January 3rd, I found sound healing at the beginning of February. I was doing sound healing on myself every day and went in for the surgery. I have the scars to prove it woke up from anesthesia and my OB was like, I don’t know what you did but everything had healed there’s nothing inside anymore. So you don’t even have to tell me what you did but just keep doing that. And I left working as a chef and switched into sound really fully.
Elise Kindya: Wow, that’s so amazing. I’m so happy for you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah. Thank you.
Elise Kindya: That’s so good.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I mean, it’s amazing. It’s a miracle and that is another piece of that letting myself be led by something. I followed my curiosity. I chose my energy direction to this thing that then literally changed the Rational frequency of myself and made myself clearer it brought me back into harmony something outside of myself.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: And so that is essentially now…
Elise Kindya: interest
Tess Palma-Martinez: what I’m doing with the universe. It is something outside of myself that is bringing alignment to me.
Elise Kindya: right
Elise Kindya: That’s so awesome.
Elise Kindya: so you’re at your two year anniversary of finding sound healing?
Tess Palma-Martinez: I am I know.
Elise Kindya: That’s exciting.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s been a while. It’s very fast ride. Very a lot of deep work and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: tune first. I’m hosting my own not being invited to facilitate but facilitating my own with my friend Kate who’s another sound healer.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: We’re doing a sound healer training retreat at the same Resort where I first came to nosada and we’re almost sold out already. It’s so amazing and that depth is what is so needed in the space because sound healing is becoming really popular and then I see all these become a sound healer this weekend and it’s like Actually,…
Elise Kindya: Yeah, right. right
Tess Palma-Martinez: and that’s not So when I speak about the depth, really let yourself be there and when you are doing less inherently and you give yourself that space and you’re pouring all of yourself back into yourself, that’s where the depth comes from.
Elise Kindya: I love that. that’s an interesting. I usually ask my guests to because this podcast is called returning home.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay.
Elise Kindya: And I love to ask my guests what returning home means to them and you’ve talked a lot about I…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: I don’t want to put words in your mouth. But yeah, it I have heard you say things that I’m like that sounds like returning home. But yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: what is returning home mean to you?
Tess Palma-Martinez: I guess it is what I am. I am here.
Elise Kindya: Mmm
Elise Kindya: You’re your own home. Always coming back to the present moment.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s knowing yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah. with myself inside of myself
Elise Kindya: right Yeah, I love that.
Tess Palma-Martinez: What is yours?
Elise Kindya: what returning home means to me. today it means
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah today.
Elise Kindya: being in my body and
Elise Kindya: being okay with that. Sometimes I think as women were f*** my body. I hate my body. I feel like crap or whatever it is as far as having our period every month and all we’re feeling pain. and today I feel I’ve been feeling so much better in my body recently because I’ve been doing some weight lifting and changing some things about what I’m eating and I just feel a lot more like buoyant I just feel almost like bouncy in a way I feel light on my feet I feel
Elise Kindya: like ease and just comfort in my body and in a way that I haven’t felt in a long time or I don’t know if I’ve ever been so I’m just like wow, I feel
01:05:00
Elise Kindya: it’s just easier to exist in my body today and That feels really nice every Friday morning. I go to a yoga class and she always has a set Our intention, of course before we get started and Usually mine is be nice things to yourself in your mind because my inner critic is very loud, but she’s been calming down a little bit lately we love her. But yeah today my intention was more. So just an acknowledgment of I just feel good. Thank you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: mmm
Elise Kindya: And so yeah, that’s what it means to me today. Yeah. Thank you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Beautiful. Thank you for sharing that.
Elise Kindya: I did want to ask you about Portugal. Tell us everything.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah So it’s very much connected to nosada and being here choosing to be here. And as I mentioned so July came I facilitated the retreat.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: I started the whole I’m moving here. I met this man really fell in love and thought that I was in love or…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: I wasn’t love with the Persona that he had portrayed and…
Elise Kindya: Yes.
Tess Palma-Martinez: we had a very beautiful relationship within that neutrality of just looking at the relationship. It was a very beautiful experience then when I was moving here the relationship ended and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I still followed that direction of my energy of No, I wanted to move here before I even met him I’m still going and made the move. Within the first Two days of being here once moving. I had met a friend prior and he and his husband they own bed and breakfast here in asada and they’re like, they come to breakfast anytime. We love you and
Tess Palma-Martinez: And that just was I’m moving and whatever and I went was there a couple days and then whatever morning I woke up and I was like, today is the day I want to go to breakfast and I got there and one of the guests that was staying was this guy. His name is Nick now my very good friend, and he was there with his wife and his child and his extended family his father-in-law sister in law and his three best friends from kindergarten which was really interesting and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: and I just connected in this way of we totally know each other from some other place and it was a very fast and deep connection and he’s just a very generous person and has his own life of accomplishments and things and as in a space where he has Financial abundance and
Tess Palma-Martinez: then months go by we’re still friends and this news of this relationship came out that the whole time he was married and he’s like this whole other person that I even didn’t really realize and I was sharing this with Nick the other day and he was just like, my God, this is so crazy and you’ve been dealing with this all yourself you’re there alone and working and I know how much you’re working and I was like, yeah, I know it’s been a lot but it’s also good and I’m just in the flow of the abundance and he’s like you need a vacation and I was like, wouldn’t that be nice? that’s so great, but it’s super high season here and it’ll all be fine. I’m pretty good and we get off the phone have the rest of the day wake up the next morning and my whole email inboxes just this number that Hopper Portugal Lisbon connecting flight hotel like he had booked out.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And a nine day all expenses paid vacation for me. to Portugal
Elise Kindya: That’s amazing. What a guy.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And what a guy so it’s just so nice to receive it. And there was one tiny split moment Within Myself where I was like when I received this and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then I was just like yes, I can receive this.
Elise Kindya: Wow, right,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: I don’t need to do right.
Elise Kindya: that would be so scary to see yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I don’t need to placate and be like, you didn’t need to do that or I really shouldn’t take a vacation right now. It’s like I don’t have any person stuff scheduled for the dates that he happened to book it. All of my clients are virtual. I can be on with them anywhere in the world. That’s the beauty of that and be led.
01:10:00
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: And those are my Mantra words as of late.
Elise Kindya: Yes, and they are absolutely just like ring like you’re just living That’s incredible.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah. It is.
Elise Kindya: That’s so amazing. I’m really happy for you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Thank you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, and…
Elise Kindya: It’s really cool.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And I were all capable of our own unique version of this and that’s what I just want everybody. I mean I had somebody send me a DM the other day. That was like I’ve been watching everything and it’s so amazing and you’re so worth all of this and I’m in the total opposite space where if something doesn’t change. I don’t even know what’s gonna happen and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: I was there honestly most of my life in that space of I battled with deep depression suicidal ideation chronic pain. I mean, it’s like you don’t even conceive that’s anything can be but you are responsible for making those changes and I have a lot of different tools that I’ve really developed over time that The biggest one is I mean look at news resolutions 83% of people fall off at their New Year’s resolution and in less than two weeks and it’s because the goal is just too big make it smaller. It doesn’t have to be so big make it manageable and it’s a smaller stepping stone. It’s the little tiny things instead of I’m gonna go to the gym every day at 7 am so I can lose 52 pounds. It’s whoa, that’s like
Tess Palma-Martinez: whoa There’s 27 tiny little things that need to happen even to get to that one goal.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: right Yeah, so breaking things down into much more manageable pieces that doesn’t overwhelm your system and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: send you back into the sympathetic nervous system.
Tess Palma-Martinez: exactly
Elise Kindya: It’s like let’s actually make this a really easy process.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Easy easeful if you’re feeling resistant, it’s too big. Follow your energy…
Elise Kindya: Yeah. right
Tess Palma-Martinez: if it feels tough, but you’re still like I’m gonna do this then that’s good. If it’s like, I have to do that then it’s too big.
Elise Kindya: right Absolutely. I can relate to that and I think a lot of people listening can relate to that because Yeah, I mean, you’re right we have these really grandiose ideas of I’ve been doing this one thing this way 30 years and I think on January 1st and all of a sudden gonna just completely change the way I live my life.
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Elise Kindya: It’s like No, you’re special but no, right just chunk it down for yourself and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: be kind to yourself. it’s so beautiful. Then when you can see you can look back over if you did decide to make a small change that led to some bigger change. and see wow that path is what I had to walk to get here and That’s really really cool. And Look at how life is unfolding for me, love that for me. That’s awesome. Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Mm- right and that even what you just said of look back and this is the journey I had to take and look how everything’s unfolding. I love that for me. That’s how I feel about all of my past traumas. It’s like,…
Elise Kindya: Mm-hmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: Damn that was intense and I look at where I am. I love that for me. And so those traumas It doesn’t even matter anymore because now I’m here but I did those thousands of tiny micro steps to get here.
Elise Kindya: Right, right and sometimes yeah, the trauma likes if a cell didn’t have to split into two. To make organisms than it wouldn’t like that’s trauma right like splitting yourself in half. That doesn’t feel awesome.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Is it trauma though? That’s where that I would say.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: There are so many accounts of women giving birth that literally have orgasms and say it was the most pleasurable thing. They’ve ever experienced. There’s proof of that so it can be painful or it can be pleasurable. It depends On your perspective again.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s Not you specifically but we are labeling these things as bad or traumatic, but actually that cell and mitosis might be like having the most orgasmic pleasure that it just becomes two things.
Elise Kindya: Wow, it’s like there’s too much good stuff to go around. I gotta spread this around.
Tess Palma-Martinez: right Right. No.
Elise Kindya: I need to make more of this. for sure. Yeah, you’re right. Definitely. But yeah, sometimes the trauma is just part of the story. It’s just part of we’re not going to watch Harry Potter if he didn’t get killed by Voldemort at the end. Sorry spoiler alert, but
01:15:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: I actually didn’t even know that that happened. I think I watched the first two movies and then I was like, yeah, that’s fine. going
Elise Kindya: Yeah. then the thing is actually Voldemort kills the part of himself. That’s inside Harry, but Harry still alive. So it’s like this whole thing.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Harry represents Jesus and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah. right Hello.
Tess Palma-Martinez: the reawakening of the Consciousness. Yes.
Elise Kindya: We’re Harry Potter friends over here. But yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: so Yeah, we have to go through some s***. I mean, it’s The Human Condition. So yeah, what color glasses are we putting on as we’re Maybe sloshing through some of that and how fast can we get out of it and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Elise Kindya: just like, okay that happened. Great good for me. I’m on to the next thing.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And be in it fully in order to have it passed quickly.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: There’s this the way that cows versus Buffalo behave in different weather patterns, if cows are in the pasture and they see a cloud storm coming they will turn around and walk away from the clouds. But then the clouds keep coming and…
Elise Kindya: They keep coming.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so the cows keep going and then all of a sudden they’re miles away from where they need and maybe they’re lost and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: now they have to get all the way back Buffalo see the cloud. They turn toward the cloud and they walk through the storm and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: they get to the other side of the storm faster. And the storm keeps going and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: so if you can be in the deepest lake, that whatever the sensation Be in it fully again. It’s that Whatever is happening fully understand it and be there and then it will pass. All it is looking for is to be acknowledged if you keep running away from it. It’s going to keep chasing you.
Elise Kindya: Right. Yes. so true that some of the work I do with my clients with internal family systems and these exiled parts that are so shoved away and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: then all these behaviors keep coming up because gotta acknowledge. What’s going on over here? Nope, can’t do that. All right. Yeah, we got to turn towards that part and make space for it. As part of your whole system the same way a family lives together in a house. All of these parts live together inside of you and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Elise Kindya: they all deserve to be there. And then right once we do turn towards the thing.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: It’s usually not as bad as we it’s like we get so scared of things and then recently I hadn’t talked to my dad in 15 years. He’s my God.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Been there done that. Yeah.
Elise Kindya: He’s like the scariest person in my mind. He has the same birthday as head Bundy and I’m just living up to that. Looks like Jack Nicholson, Daddy from The Shining. It’s scary.
Tess Palma-Martinez: lighting
Elise Kindya: The day after Christmas I was like, I’m sick of all of our s*** right now. Hello. Is this still your number? I’m over it or we’re talking again. And I’m gonna go see him in March. right and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: amazing man
Elise Kindya: this is something that and it’s funny what we talk about at the identity level. I have always identified as someone I don’t have my father in my life. I’m not talking to my dad. We’re a strange. and now I’m like That identity is no longer I don’t like that’s not my identity. And it never really was like that was just something that …
Tess Palma-Martinez:
Elise Kindya: Where does your dad live? I don’t know. It’s one of my business.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, it was the protection. It was a cool girl. That’s doesn’t no big deal. I don’t have my dad.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m a little bit different and a rebel and whatever and you put these things on ourselves as a safety mechanism.
Elise Kindya: right, right, and now it’s like what I’m gonna just go ahead and break the ice and just see what happens and I mean, we had an hour and a half phone call where he’s inviting me and my husband to come stay with him.
Tess Palma-Martinez: wow, amazing
Elise Kindya: Yeah. I mean it wasn’t the most Pleasant phone call in the world. but I don’t care,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: I just am like I’m done with that. I don’t want to write of course.
Tess Palma-Martinez: But you’re also capable you just showed yourself in such a huge way how capable you are to have that experience and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah. right Right.
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s totally fine. And it’s even continuing. Yes.
Elise Kindya: I was that Buffalo turning towards the storm. Yeah. I’m walking right into that thing. I’m like, all right. I would tell my husband every day. I’m like, what are we doing? Why are we doing this but it’s time to walk into the storm for sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: So I love that analogy. I’m totally gonna Think about that every time that I think about avoiding something difficult.
01:20:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: I’m like And I just avoiding the inevitable half of life is difficult. So why not just Embrace that and be with it and then it’s just part of life.
Tess Palma-Martinez: when I feel like either something tough really happened or…
Elise Kindya: I don’t have to feel so bad about it. Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m just entering into a mood or I’m changing or whatever. I’ll shut myself in my room for A day and a half and I’m usually on the floor and I’m like crying and I’m on my foam roller and I’m moving my body and I’m with it and then a day and a half later. it’s gone.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s out of me and it’s not even gonna repeat again. Whereas in the past, I would push it away and it would go on for weeks or months of I’m just in this space and in this depression and I’m in this angst and whatever but it’s so much shorter if you just go in
Elise Kindya: I love that. I think people If you’re listening, I know that resonated, I you felt that somewhere inside for Is there anything that we haven’t touched on today that you feel like, you really want to share or that feels?
Tess Palma-Martinez: haha
Elise Kindya: Yeah, on the tip of your tongue or something that you just feels very important.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I don’t think so. And I actually feel like I like the way the places that were explored here because a lot of the podcasts that I’m on people are often asking me about sound healing and the science of sound healing and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: all of that and which I love to talk about and that really I feel like would be the only thing left but it’s not necessary in that resource is easily found other places,…
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so I feel like what we’ve said. Is complete other than just reiterating things and the only thing that I can think of is even that Epstein-Barr mono. whatever Your body isn’t doing random stuff. Your body is doing stuff to get your attention.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And they’re just the same analogy.
Tess Palma-Martinez: We were just talking about turn toward it. Don’t be upset and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: pissed off at your body for doing this thing. That is so inconvenient for you. pay attention.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: What is happening? Why is your body trying going to these extreme lengths to get your attention? And it could be emotional. It could be something else but open yourself up to exploring and just being with it and your body will literally tell you things like if I sit and I have this and I have all of my clients implement this and so listeners I suggest this to you, too. Every day sitting in Silence of observation for three minutes. The timer on your phone for three minutes that takes away the pressure of the conscious mind of how long has it been and whatever and you sit and you identify all of your senses? What am I seeing? What behind my eyelids? and if your mind drifts
Tess Palma-Martinez: Then just come back. I drifted it.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It lasted the entire three minutes this time. I came back at the end. It’s a muscle just like your strength training every time you come back to the present moment. You strengthen the trust and that’s where you’re able to get the space between your thoughts. And in that space just as I cultivated space and I was talking about entering in my era of doing less. Then all of these messages can come up and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: your body can start to tell you things or your subconscious can start to show you things or your soul is like hey or a past loved one or you’re Angelic team or I mean, there’s so many other things that we can be paying attention to but we don’t give it the space.
Elise Kindya: and those things can come from just paying attention to the body and being in the five senses. Oh.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, when you’re in the present moment that cultivates the space that you’re needing and then within that space. you’re choosing to be present with yourself. And then that’s where everything comes from.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, definitely. I 100% agree with that for sure you’ve got you 24/7 365 from the day you’re born until That expiration date at the end like you’re with yourself all the time.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: Have fun with yourself. That’s like you’re cool.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, validate do it do follow your energy.
Elise Kindya: Yeah. Yeah, we love.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, is there anything that you would like to leave the listeners with as far as where they can find you how they can interact with you or come to any of your events or trainings or anything like that?
01:25:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: Sure, I’d love to you can find me everywhere at completely That is my business name my website completely golden calm my Instagram completely golden all one word. I have my completely golden sub stack. I have an old two seasons of a podcast completely golden the podcast there are lots of ways to connect and I say this very sincerely I love to connect. So if you want to reach out to me, if you want to send me a DM or an email or anything, please do I absolutely love it and I will respond to you sometimes pretty often. I’ll get people like hey, you’re probably super busy and then the eggs and the voicemail and they’re like, my God a voice note from you and I’m like, yeah, it’s fine. So go for it. I’m here. I learn just as much from all of these conversations and connections. So it’s very mutual.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, that’s great. Thank you. And I’ll definitely get those links from you to put in the show notes. So people can just click on them and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Sure.
Elise Kindya: So that’ll be easy to I was just so much enjoyed this conversation and having you on cut the podcast. Yeah, it’s as we were talking before we hit record Serendipity and just meeting people and I just walked into the mind because I don’t even know how I had heard about it. I was staying in Silverlake East Hollywood and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: wow far
Elise Kindya: I’m like, yeah, I was driving 30 minutes. I signed up for that week. I was driving 30 minutes to get over there In those two weeks.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Wow.
Elise Kindya: I probably went there eight times or something. So it was great.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: I loved it and I loved meeting people and experiencing.
Elise Kindya: Just everything I did that was so cool. yeah, so just the Serendipity of that and I’ve been following you following along with all the things going on with you. So I can attest you are very just cool and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: down and I was like, hey you want to be in my podcast and you were like, yep. So I love that and that’s what life is about is connecting and sharing with each other so Yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And like you said before the recording too,…
Elise Kindya: thank.
Tess Palma-Martinez: you’re like you said Serendipity and then you’re like, but that Serendipity is life. If you pay attention if you let it be serendipitous everything is serendipitous.
Elise Kindya: Right, right. It’s like you really never know what the next moment’s gonna hold. So why pretend that you do? Yeah. Yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Right be open Let It Go.
Elise Kindya: I love that so…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Thank you so much.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, thank you. all right, I’m gonna hit stop and then
Meeting ended after 01:28:00 👋
- Listen to previous episodes of Returning Home:
- Episode 17 | Special Episode! Receive a Reiki Transmission
- Sign up for Elise’s Newsletter and receive a FREE PDF to start your self-compassion journey
- Sign up for Elise’s upcoming event GOLDEN HOUR on 3/23 here!
- Connect with Elise on Instagram: @elisekindya
- Tess Palma-Martinez’s website: www.completelygolden.com
- Connect with Tess on Instagram: @completelygolden
- Subscribe to Tess’ Substack: www.completelygolden.substack.com
TRANSCRIPT:
This editable transcript was computer generated and might contain errors. People can also change the text after it was created.
Elise Kindya: Thank you so much for being here Tess. I’m really excited to get into this conversation. first and foremost, how are you doing today?
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m good. It’s the new moon today and it leading up this whole last week. I was having what felt like and I’ve had struggled with this a long time of chronic Epstein-Barr virus and…
Elise Kindya: wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: it seemed like I was having a relapse and that was actually a little worrisome, but I was trying not to have that pull me down, but for anyone that struggles with it, you understand and it is just the most fatigue and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s not only just fatigue within my body’s tired. I need to rest the fatigue extends into this energetic space and even within the mental capacity where I feel very light-headed and kind of this Buzzy sensation,…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: and I’m not really able to comprehend much and so it really limits my capacity in what I can do as far as work or even having a phone call with yesterday my mom called and Oxford under two minutes and I was like, okay. I have to let you go. I need I can’t and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: and so it’s a really tough space to be in and it can sometimes last between two to even seven weeks or if people have really really chronic fatigue. It can be their life. But today with the new moon, it feels like it’s lifted and then I was sharing about this on my social media and I had quite a few people actually say, my god. I’ve been feeling the same thing and I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know if I was getting sick or what was happening and
Tess Palma-Martinez: just this idea of all moving through so much and we’re all connected to so much all the time. And if we even entertain the ideas of we’re shifting timelines, which I feel like that’s being talked about so much no wonder we’re tired. No wonder I feel dizzy and lightheaded and Buzzy and even if it’s just like something I lightly entertain as an idea. It makes a lot of sense, but then otherwise, it’s like we’re just go going as a whole Collective world society that We really need to slow down and that’s like maybe I mean, we have a whole podcast episode to talk about but that’s my main focus right now is just really important everybody to slow down and do less.
Elise Kindya: I love that. I’m thank you for being here under those conditions of not feeling well having that chronic fatigue. I’ve heard of Epstein-Barr, but I’m not super familiar with what it is. what is
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, it isn’t an immune virus and it’s kind of within the autoimmune sector, but it’s actually kind of its own thing. But sometimes it gets paired with it there and it’s also known as mononucleosis. So for people growing up in the United States is often known as it’s the kissing virus and high school and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: you kiss somebody or you even take a sip of their drink and then all you got mono as a kid, we have stronger immune systems in general. And so yeah, you’re tired you get to skip school for two weeks and have everybody do your homework for you and the teachers kind of understand what that’s like, however when you get it as an adult, it’s much more likely to turn into a chronic issue and I first had my onset when I was 203 just after.
Tess Palma-Martinez: College and I quote unquote moved to Venice Beach, California and I was living and working in a hostel in the boardwalk in Venice Beach and contracted mono there which is super gross and…
Elise Kindya: My God.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then it’s been just this issue and now I’m 36 and tip. So the immune system will regenerate itself 18 So every year and a half your immune system is brand new essentially and that’s also typically the life cycle of the Epstein-Barr virus. So you’ll have an onset and then you have the heightened symptoms and then you go into what’s known as a convalescent phase where your immune system finally conquers and suppresses it but it’s actually just lying dormant within yourself until you are fatigued again until you’re burnt out and…
Elise Kindya: my God.
Tess Palma-Martinez: you’ve been too stressed or you have a food allergy that you haven’t been paying attention to or whatever the situations are and The people with varying degrees of immune system States, like I mentioned some people are living with this all the time. There is a really great documentary that came out on Netflix. I think it was called Hysteria. and really one I really think that that’s the name of the documentary…
00:05:00
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: but It was talking about the diagnosis of Hysteria. That was placed on women many years ago and…
Elise Kindya: right by mail doctors
Tess Palma-Martinez: that by male doctors, right and they now in hindsight are looking and it’s like, actually we think they all just had Epstein-Barr.
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: We think that they just were so run down and could not function with this level of fatigue that they were fainting and that you see that with the hysteria like women fainting passing out, but then there’s also that component of a little bit of delusion and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: because it’s coming from the brain fog part of it when you’re not able to comprehend and especially for long durations of time actually any person who has an illness that is sustained for a long period of time. It starts to mess with your mind you get into this fear space of is this…
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: what it’s gonna be like forever and I stuck here and…
Elise Kindya: right right
Tess Palma-Martinez: then other things start to kind of spin out and you become paranoid and all of that. So it’s been something I mean what 13 years now that I’ve been working with and trying to figure out and I’ve been told by so many doctors that it’s not
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s not able to be healed or to totally go away. But then I also have heard from other people…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: who are more spiritual that are like, definitely you can eradicate that from your system and Epstein-Barr virus is connected to herpes which more and more is coming out that pretty much everything stems back to herpes as its basis. I mean whether that is within the HPV family or the chicken pox is also a form of Herpes and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so point I think it’s four nines in a row. If not more percent of the human population has herpes and it’s just expressed in all of these different ways. So it’s essentially accurate to say that every person on the planet has for bees, but some people they get them as cold sores some people it’s something else…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: but if you’ve had chicken pox if your mother who birthed you had any form of Herpes, you inherently have herpes you can get it from the kid in the sandbox. You can get it from a kiss when you’re in high school. It doesn’t really matter and it’s not even As gross of a thing, I think as people think and again it’s being expressed in different ways.
Elise Kindya: This has been a conversation coming up a lot in my sessions with people whether it’s STDs or herpes specifically or the body mind connection and have so much in the west we feel like our mind and our body are two separate things when obviously they’re living inside of the same organism sure our mind can go and think about things but it’s interesting that you say what you said earlier because You know how our physical health affects our mental health a lot of times. I mean the bodies talking up to the Mind 80% of the time. So the way our body feels is very much influencing our thoughts and our mood and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: and the other way our thoughts can influence our bodies, too.
Elise Kindya: yeah. Sure.
Elise Kindya: Absolutely. It’s just an easier pathway for the body to go down to I feel I’m gonna think s***, that’s just…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yep.
Elise Kindya: how the body is Set up. So that’s a lot of the work that I do with my clients. So that’s interesting that this is where the conversation went right off the bat because yeah, I mean and I know the work that you do with your clients is very much about I’ll let you talk more about what you do with your clients, but very much about this mind. I don’t want to call it mindset work. I don’t want to put a label on it. I want you to talk about it yourself. But yeah, what there was something else you just said. And I wanted to say something about it, but I don’t.
Elise Kindya: If it comes back to me, it’ll come back to me. But yeah, so what is for my audience for people that might not know you how would you describe your work or your place in the world and just you as a person? How would you describe yourself?
Tess Palma-Martinez: How would I describe myself? I am here to be as clear of a frequency that I can be in my own unique way and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: I help other people to do the same. And essentially it’s interesting that you say mindset work and I would say a part of me wants to be absolutely not I don’t do mindset work, but then I think holistically that is part of it for essentially what I’m doing within helping people to connect with their own frequency and I use that language intentionally because it’s very scientific and I’m a big science nerd if you couldn’t tell by my entire monologue about the Barr virus
00:10:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: So within our frequency state so much is affecting that and that is the state of our body it is the state of our mind it is the state of our external environment and more sometimes even the state of our deep internal subconscious space and so that’s the piece of me that wants to push against the mindset work thing…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: because the mindset really focuses on the ego and the conscious mind the thinking mind where as I’m really helping people to connect with their sense of observation the neutral part of themselves and…
Elise Kindya: .
Tess Palma-Martinez: with that neutrality, you’re able to witness everything that’s happening without the desire to implement your own will or to try and I emphasize the word try to control because
Tess Palma-Martinez: That control is not a thing. You control does not exist. But our entire Society It is formed literally around the essence of perceived control. So when you strip that away and you realize I am literally not in control of anything unless I actively hold my breath. Yeah, we can control quote unquote some of the aspects inside of ourselves. We can control our thoughts to a degree to strengthen that sense of observation but anything outside of ourselves is absolutely beyond our control and most of what is happening within your body. And what is being projected out from your subconscious is also beyond your control. So our ability to control things is miniscule, but we think we have this big overreaching kind of like Barbarian ask I’m gonna make this work for the desired outcome that I want and
Elise Kindya: are
Tess Palma-Martinez: So the people don’t even know why they want that outcome and it could be going directly against their natural frequency. So that’s essentially…
Elise Kindya: wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: what I’m doing with the clients.
Elise Kindya: I love that that’s such so when we are not in control of anything. Except maybe holding our breath. How do we feel empowered in our lives or is that something that you?
Elise Kindya: I don’t know. You don’t want to impose an outcome on your clients. But is that something that? is important to you or what’s important to you in terms of the work that you’re doing or…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Hey.
Elise Kindya: just how you’re living in the world and Is it empowerment is it you said I’m here. I’m just present. I want to be a Clear Channel and help, people understand their own frequency. But yeah, if we’re not in control because I totally get you Our society very much is hold on for dear life like White Knuckle it and pretend that you lie to yourself and pretend that you have control over this thing.
Elise Kindya: So yeah, then if somebody’s listening to that and is not familiar with this concept of control isn’t real. So then what’s the point?
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s literally to enjoy everything and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: the opposite of trying to control is to let yourself be led. And my business at this point is 100% passively driven. I don’t do anything. You invited me on this podcast. I get invited places and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: then I show up fully. But I don’t make those things happen and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so by releasing that control. Yeah, I can feel scary for people especially at the beginning because that’s the only thing that they’ve known, but I can give an example of a client that I was working with and She was so I mean probably of all of my clients I could say the most in that space of perceived control and she at one point was even trying to tell me what reality was and I was like, there is no reality. Your reality is different than mine is different from that person. So that inherently implies that reality does not exist. tell me what is your worst case scenario? And she had a little difficulty trying to understand how to explain it and then she ended up explaining her life exactly how it was in that moment.
00:15:00
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: And I was like, do you hear what you just said and she was like what and I was like you just described your life right now and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: she was like, whoa, and I was like you’re currently living in your own personal hell and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: you got there by controlling everything. So why don’t you try something else? And it was a really intense perspective shift and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: that I’ve found is perhaps a gift of mine. I’m not sure but that’s the consistent feedback I get from clients is my ability to reframe and provide these big perspective shifts.
Elise Kindya: Wow, that’s so powerful. I’m imagining being that client and just being what? wow, yeah, that’s so important and Right, how we got here isn’t in our control. but being able to look at that and say I’m gonna be led. I’m gonna enjoy my life. I’m here for pleasure. I’m in a human body that has all these senses. Why not soak that up a little bit? I had a client recently that she said something about. she’s afraid of being happy because she’s so familiar with being sad. And if she can’t be happy 100% of the time there’s no point in being happy. And I was like, Are you sad a hundred percent of the time?
Elise Kindya: And she said no and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Wow.
Elise Kindya: I said, okay, so you’re willing to give up being happy because you can’t be happy 100% of the time, but you’re not willing to give up being sad. but you just admitted you aren’t sad 100% of the time. and trauma and all of these things like people don’t have control over every single part of how they ended up in this moment that they’re in. But then when we look at what the choices that we’re making and we’re like okay. I did.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay, that’s the responsibility.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, I don’t want to keep doing that. So. Yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: it’s really powerful work. So you had Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, you said just to add into that. You said that you can’t control how you get here or the fact that you’re here here where you are and I would say that is true. And you are absolutely responsible for where you are at that point and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: it doesn’t matter what happened to you in your life. and it’s not any competition and everyone’s trauma is their own highest point of trauma for what they have experienced. And I have a very small window of tolerance for people who use their trauma as a crutch because I have experienced so much trauma. And it is absolutely possible to create that distance from yourself and your trauma through that strengthened observation to then you don’t take it personally anymore. It’s not even part of you and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: a lot of the stories that I share people are. wow, you just shared this really crazy experience that you had in your past and you’re totally fine you’ve seen even Joyful that it happened, but you’re Totally fine and sharing that story and you’re just living your life now and I’m like, yeah because that’s how I feel. It is not attached to me. It is not part of my identity anymore because I see that it was just something that I experienced and I learned X Y and Z tools and it hurt that version of me and these different ways but it’s not still here. And so every time I return back to it with my thinking mind, I’m really wounding myself and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: that piece is my responsibility.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, right that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, thank you for sharing that.
Elise Kindya: So when you say that that thing happened to a past version of yourself. Do you feel So that thing hasn’t happened to this present version of yourself.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: Right, okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I mean even in a scientific way all of my cells in every aspect of my body has regenerated so many times between that happened to the time now that it actually literally physically tangibly did not happen to that same person. and then also within my mental landscape I have Found and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s not even important. I don’t think to really find where it lives within the subconscious as much as we’re thinking it does but Finding for me. I did find a lot of where that lives and then giving myself the things that I needed to feel healed and to feel nurtured from myself. It’s not about rewriting the past because that you can’t do it existed, but it’s coming to terms with that existence. It’s saying okay that happened that’s interesting. That was difficult.
00:20:00
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: Wow, but you’re looking at it in that neutral Observer aspect and noticing that’s not happening to me right now in this moment. I’m safe right now in this moment. I feel kind of good and the sun is shining and I just ate a really good meal. Whatever it is. Even if you are feeling sad and triggered by something. Just notice that but it might be triggering a memory or an aspect that’s stuck in your body from the past. But that thing isn’t happening again right now, but we get stuck on that.
Elise Kindya: right Right. That’s what I love so much about the work that I do with EMDR because we are going back into a memory, but they’re the beginning part of that is always to remind the body that this isn’t happening right now. We’re going back for the purpose of healing of bringing something that past version of yourself needed whether it was protection or…
Tess Palma-Martinez: mmm
Elise Kindya: nurturing or something like that, but That’s the only reason we’re going back to think about it is to heal from it. It’s not to dwell in it. it’s to actually show the body that’s completely over. It has a beginning a middle and an end and it can’t happen again. And so yeah this is where I think that Mind Body disconnection comes because the mind just that can go anywhere it wants to go.
Elise Kindya: And live that thing from 20 years ago or whatever over and over again, but then mindfulness that’s been such a big part of my life is mindfulness and bringing myself back into my body and saying my feet are right here. My body is here when I look around I’m safe. Everything’s okay. And getting back into that parasympathetic nervous system, I don’t need to be turned on right now. I don’t need to be hyper Vigilant right now. noticing what just feels neutral or even good in my body as opposed to…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay. exactly Yeah,…
Elise Kindya: what feels bad.
Elise Kindya: I love that so.
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s perceived threat versus actual threat and…
Elise Kindya: actual right
Tess Palma-Martinez: I learned that from my mom. She was She works in a Maximum Security Prison as a therapist in the mental health sector and…
Elise Kindya: that’s right. Wow.
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: that is like something that she’s talking with the clients. All day long is this a perceived threat or an actual threat and if you can have the awareness through observation to even ask yourself that in the moment, so I mean most of the time we are not in an actual threat moment.
Elise Kindya: life-changing right
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s mostly a perceived threat and that is that similar. Achieved control piece and so if our mind is wandering and We’re looping and we’re doing all of these things. It is your responsibility to train yourself out of that. To not be traumatizing yourself.
Elise Kindya: 100%
Tess Palma-Martinez: And if you feel like you’re at the whim of other people you actually need to step up for yourself and start doing something differently. No one else can do that for you?
Elise Kindya: right It’s so true. I love that I feel like you told me your mom was a therapist and I had forgotten that so that’s really cool. Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, it’s like there’s so many healers and my family on both sides generationally.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s really amazing to see and I think a lot of people will healers as shamans and Mystics and things like that, but it’s like actually no my dad’s father was a dentist and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: he worked in Impoverished neighborhoods of Brazil giving out free dental services.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: He’s a Healer. My mom works in the prison system as a therapist.
Elise Kindya: Absolutely.
Tess Palma-Martinez: She’s a Healer like that my aunt’s it’s all there and these different ways and anything that we do we could look at ourselves as a Healer. It’s about honoring…
Elise Kindya: Right,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: what we’re doing.
Elise Kindya: right and knowing that. Something that I kind of identify with is we have these human bodies. They are going to expire one day We don’t have forever in these meat suits, life is kind of inherently traumatic in that way. we get a sunburn we eat something it gives us a stomach ache. We get mono and our fatigued or whatever it is. those are inherently just hard things that our body has to go through but
00:25:00
Elise Kindya: wait, what was I saying? Let me make a note because I’m like three PM. Okay,
Elise Kindya: And yeah, be letting ourselves just experience the pleasure at the same time. it’s like nobody is getting out of this thing alive. So
Tess Palma-Martinez: What a way to put it.
Elise Kindya: we don’t have yeah,…
Elise Kindya: right we don’t have to dwell on how hard it is at every moment because Yeah, this is what it is for right now.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, literally.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Right and you don’t need to make it hard at every moment either. That’s the other thing.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, right.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s like we make things so difficult and something that I explored recently. It was I have this mono thing and the main symptom is fatigue. In general, I feel like just tired and kind of burnt out all the time. And every person I talk to in the world says the same thing so societally we’re kind of burnt out.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay, so if I just Lay here in child’s pose for a while and just notice how My body is hausted. my God. No wonder I feel so tired. My body is literally exhausted. So okay. I’m just gonna move a little bit and wow. I don’t even have the muscle structure to move my body in that micro way, but then I’m a wrecked and moving around the world at Hyper Speed during my day, but then I actually don’t even have them muscles to hold myself up during the day and so that’s actually making me exhausted. I physically can’t hold myself up, but I’m forcing myself up and so
Tess Palma-Martinez: Pairing it back and just allowing yourself to do less and build the foundation from inside out and that can be in the micro muscles. I’m mentioning but it can also be in the mind or it can be within the spirit. There are all of these spaces that we just need to do less and be there with it rather than trying to distract ourselves away from it. Because it’s never going to resolve at that point.
Elise Kindya: right absolutely, so It was so interesting following you since I met you in the fall of 2022 and getting some readings from you and coming to the spiritual Girls Club and all of that kind of stuff and then seeing that you were leading Retreats and things like that. And then I had this feeling when I was following you at one point you I have big news coming and I was like, she’s moving to Costa Rica. I just could tell you looked so happy when you’re on that. Read I was like are you moving and you were like, yes, so I would just love to hear more about and I know you said earlier about everything so passive in your life like your business just kind of runs itself. I invited you on this podcast you get invitations to do things.
Elise Kindya: I just would love to hear a little bit more about that process or just how obviously I’m sure it feels really good, but While also holding this base of your body is tired. And you are doing a lot of things. I mean you did just go through this whole moving countries selling all that stuff. So yeah, I would just love to hear more about this passive kind of manifestation process that you do.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, I loved your reference back to when we met and I was really beginning my path within the spiritual world at that time.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: and so I was having to kind of Blush out that foundational work. I was just met mentioning before that. I was working as a private Chef or celebrities in LA and I was doing that for years and that really burned me out. I mean my body was literally dying I ended up in the emergency room had to have emergency surgery and…
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: within that space I found sound healing and sound healing healed The frequencies healed me and…
Elise Kindya: Holy Show
Tess Palma-Martinez: without really knowing okay, I’m spending all of my free time looking at the moon thinking about the moon at the acupuncturist talking about meridians and shocker points, and I’m trying infrared sauna and cold plunges and I went to nutrition school. I like to know how the frequency of food is in the body everything that you do is naturally in the spiritual realm and so I don’t need to be here like cooking for people in their kitchens anymore. That doesn’t make sense. But I also don’t really know how to do this. And so I was kind of like a toddler just like where when we met I was working.
00:30:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: That part time behind the front desk of a meditation studio. And that was literally the first step into this world of I need to be making some sort of income minimum wage part-time week is not going to support me but it’s something and then after three months it was like, we need to last minute sub for this class. Are you available? And I was like, yes and so next level up and then I got a job working at unplug studio in LA and very quickly became one of their top teachers and had multiple classes a week and hosting workshops and doing this spiritual Girls Club and I was trying things out like you mentioned readings. I don’t even do readings anymore. So it’s like things come in and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s like, I’m good at that. But that doesn’t feel quite right. It’s depletes my energy and it’s not really what is exciting. Whereas sound healing like I can’t get enough of that. And so I’m gonna shift and to that direction a little bit more and then I also like being in community and so I’m going to create this group called spiritual Girls Club and just allowing myself to kind of play in that space But at the same time and this is the reality for so many people is I was living in one of the most expensive cities of the world and working part-time as a sound healer.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And it was like, I am just starting out in this sector, even if it was six months or a year into it. That’s still very new. How do I create this income for myself? I need a certain amount of money every month just to break even just to pay for my apartment that is already so expensive. Plus. I have a roommate it’s just overwhelming and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: at a certain point and It was April of 2023 and I kind of hit this space Of surrender because I had been pushing so hard and trying to control things for my desired outcome so hard and what that looked like was.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Pitching my ideas to and good online magazine or this other online space or reaching out to so-and-so because I had a vaid connection and maybe I could get on there like morning talk show or I’m gonna go to the studio and try to get another weekly class and nothing was working out and so it felt really frustrating of I’m doing all of this work. This is what I hear from everybody of what I should be doing is marketing myself and networking and make sure you make eye contact and have a firm handshake and whatever BS and I was doing it to the point of no return literally. I was not receiving a return on any of these things and I was fairly making ends me I had to even borrow $500 from my mom.
Tess Palma-Martinez: What comes before April March of I just can’t make my rent. I need to buy a borrow 400-500. and then April came and I was depleted that’s the best word. I was just out of it. I was out of the lake mental courage to keep reaching out to people I was out of the The mental generation of content even to be posting online. my body was tired. I felt defeated financially and Literally I gave up and what that meant was.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I stopped everything I stopped sending out newsletters. I stopped my podcast. I stopped following up with people that was such my main source of trigger was through the email space and following up because somebody didn’t reply to me within a quote unquote appropriate time frame and I felt like they were wasting my time. But really now I see it. I was wasting my own time they were never gonna get back to me. I don’t need to push them for an answer. I just stopped instead in that time. I went to the park or the beach and I listened to a nonsense podcast that I wasn’t learning anything that was important. I’m not learning anything anymore either I don’t need more I need less.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: And then that’s when things started to shift and I started to kind of pay attention to this divine feminine energy. And I don’t really talk about this within my work very much because I believe it’s bigger than that and it’s also a little polarizing in the way that people respond to you the energy of divine feminine concept. But it is at its Essence Yin energy with yin and yang the yin is passive that does not mean permissive. And that is a big distinction and…
00:35:00
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: it also does not mean It means But with true vulnerability has the You are the strongest in your own core that you can completely open with trust to receive.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And simultaneously be sending out that frequency signal. I am not to be messed with. Don’t even try it. And that is I think what people are afraid of letting go of their perceived control is I’m gonna be weak and then people are going to take advantage of me. they’re already taking advantage of you now because you’re holding on so tight and you’re resisting and that would we resist persist if you completely open and you have a solid foundation in yourself, people are not going to try they’re like, no, she’s way too sturdy in herself.
Elise Kindya: right right
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m not even gonna go there. And when I started to see that shift. All of a sudden these things started coming in. I had literally made space and within the manifestation World they say that a lot. It’s like, you need to make space to call in the things that you want, but I don’t think people really truly know what that means. Yeah, clean out your bedside table of your calling in a partner and you want and put a rose there whatever I I think that’s more surface level whatever the deeper work is Actually making space within your life and within that space then you become your number one priority.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: All of that space that I was spending writing newsletters recording editing and Publishing podcasts sending out emails trying to get contacts and work following up. all of that clutter. I released that and then turned toward myself. That space was filled and with me not with now I have space. Come on manifestations come find me at that point. I didn’t care…
Tess Palma-Martinez: if it came to me or not because I was filled in my own way. and then I moved to Costa Rica and I’ll share that in one moment, but since a lake leap ahead slightly I have since Completely moved to Costa Rica. I live in the jungle. I have my dream car. I have a completely passively run business. I am invited constantly. I just manifested or I’m not even going to use that word much anymore.
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I received a nine day complete all expenses paid vacation to Portugal out of the blue.
Elise Kindya: I need to hear about I saw you posted about that and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Elise Kindya: was like that’s so freaking cool. my God, what are you gonna be doing? Starting to interrupt you if you’re…
Tess Palma-Martinez: We’ll get there and…
Elise Kindya: if you are still going go ahead.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so all of this stuff has come because of that seed that was planted back in April and just really really opening myself up and allowing myself to be led and that is I would say the biggest piece the knowing that I am completely taken care of at all times. No matter if s*** is hitting the fan and it’s really difficult or I’m being washed over with free vacations It doesn’t matter. None of those things are better than the other. It’s just an experience and that’s that piece of the Observer of just witnessing and allowing whatever it is to be.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And I’m not taking it so personally and I know that this thing is going to change and it’s gonna ebb and flow and this bad time will pass so will this good time and that’s just the cycle of life. You can’t attach those things completely So comes July and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: I equally had passively received an invitation to facilitate a retreat in Costa Rica and nosara and July comes and the second day of the retreat. I was already moving here. It was so fast. I was at the point of Lake complete. I did not want to be anywhere near La anymore. Just way too disregulating. So many people so much pollution the concrete grid everywhere. expensive all of that And I come here and I’m like, my God, this is where I’ve been looking for my entire life. I have been searching the planet my entire life looking for this place and…
00:40:00
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: the ease of that move was like nothing else that I’ve experienced. I mean you need to think that there would need to be some amount of effort or planning or whatever to move to a new country and nothing. it was like everything took care of itself. And I mean, I sold my car for the exact amount that I wanted in cash within 20 minutes of me listing it.
Elise Kindya: what? whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: And the person came he drove it for five minutes. He was a mechanic buying it for his daughter and was This is an amazing car. How much should you want here? It is in cash and it was gone and it was like Okay. was that too easy and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah, right.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then it wasn’t too easy. It was easeful and let it be useful and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: I mean, I sold everything all of my belongings. I had three weeks back in LA to sell everything and every Sunday for three weeks. I had a garage sale on the corner right across the street from the farmers market which happened to be outside of my window and at the end of those three weeks. The only thing I had was one small box of miscellaneous objects that someone who actually came to the garage sale offered to donate and bring to the Goodwill for me. And otherwise everything had sold of an entire life’s worth and…
Elise Kindya: amazing
Tess Palma-Martinez: I moved to Costa Rica. Trials and tribulations within that as well. I had met someone who I thought was my Divine partner and turned out to be with complete opposite of that, but I still moved here and…
Elise Kindya: No.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I still feel happy about moving here and everything
Elise Kindya: you met that much when you were on that retreat in the summertime and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: when I was on that Retreat,…
Elise Kindya: then Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: yeah, and then I was like gonna be moving here to be with him and all of it and…
Elise Kindya: wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: that it turned out that he’s fully married and has a family and lots of other crazy things…
Elise Kindya: I Wow,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: but It was painful and…
Elise Kindya: I’m sorry.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m so grateful for that Observer part of me that I had cultivated because I was able to just be with the grief in the moment and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: processed it so quickly so fast and then it left my body. and then Being here and now I have this entire Standalone house, which I’ve always only lived in apartments. I was living in New York City for a long time you get used to like Someone’s on the left. someone’s below you someone’s in front and now I have an entire house that is not attached to any other building.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And a full I’m looking at it right now old view of the ocean. There is the canopy of the Jungle and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then right after is the ocean and I can drive there in my literal dream car that I have been dreaming of since a child sitting in my driveway and…
Elise Kindya: my God.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I can drive to that ocean in under five minutes.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: so it’s like Just For radical alignment allowing the space of radical alignment and letting go of the control of what you think that you need because there’s something outside of yourself is aligning everything for you and your perception of control is creating resistance from that you are resisting what is possible for you and…
Elise Kindya: Please
Tess Palma-Martinez: like I said, I don’t even want to say the word manifestation. I’m just receiving I’m allowing myself to be aligned and I had a very very prominent astrology my first ever birth chart astrology. Yesterday and…
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: she like wine. She actually approached me. She gave me a free birth chart reading again offered.
Elise Kindya: Of course. Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Because she had heard me on the expanded podcast and did my birth chart and was like, my God, I have to tell her what’s coming and it’s huge. And so she was like, so just get ready write your manifestation list get yourself ready before she could even finish that sentence. I was like, no I’m not writing a manifestation list because that will limit me. What is meant for me is so much bigger than I can even conceive and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: if I put it on a piece of paper. I’m limiting myself. I’m inherently trying to control the outcome. So I am just completely open to being led and being aligned. And that’s…
00:45:00
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: where I am and I’ll pause there because that was a long monologue, but I also can share about Portugal.
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, wow, I guess something I have a question about then is that I mean and thank you for sharing all of that. I mean, my God, it’s so inspiring. It’s and as you were walking through it and I’m like getting the visuals in my mind of all of what that was like being on the retreat, which is also just it’s own dream experience to be a facilitator on a retreat in Costa Rica. That’s super cool. I didn’t realize that you had just started with sound healing and all of that just in the fall of 2022. summertime Maybe
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, I had started at the beginning it was. Let’s see. I had the ruptured cyst that sent me to the emergency room January 3rd of 2022. So the very beginning of 22 and…
Elise Kindya: I’ll try.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then I found sound healing in February. So by the time we met had been…
Elise Kindya: Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: however many months that is and then
Elise Kindya: Interesting. I mean, I think it seems like you’re very quick with something happens or…
Tess Palma-Martinez: yes.
Elise Kindya: something is put in front of you and you can say yes or no and when you say yes, you’re just going and that’s the path that you’re taking. Yeah. Because yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yes. Yeah.
Elise Kindya: that’s something and sure we’re talking about people maybe that don’t have the same.
Elise Kindya: Philosophy or outlook on life. But yeah people that are maybe in that same kind of space that they weren’t invited to do sound healing on a retreat or they haven’t, man received all these things. but right it’s just a matter of deciding that that’s what you wanted to have happen and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: yeah.
Elise Kindya: for Being open to whatever it was going to be but yeah like saying someone here. Okay, great. going forward
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, and that’s simple and just getting out of your own way with that and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: Within human design. I’m a manifesting generator. And so that is kind of inherent in my type.
Elise Kindya: Me too.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s easier for us to do that kind of thing. But also it is directly connected to…
Elise Kindya: Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: how much are you connected to yourself worth? How much do you trust yourself? If you don’t trust yourself, and it’s not going to be easy to choose yourself.
Elise Kindya: I mean absolutely. I loved what you said earlier about being at the core of yourself, you can be completely open to trust because nobody can take away what’s inside of you. Nobody can take Away,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: who you believe yourself to be or the foundations that you lay for yourself or how you exist in the world? There’s no I mean sure we can get broken in situations or whatever but nobody can actually break into your house and steal that from you kind of thing. it’s yours. nobody could ever take it so.
Tess Palma-Martinez: but
Elise Kindya: That’s something I try to help my clients too is How do you want to identify yourself? who do you know yourself to be? That’s so important. It doesn’t matter what your dad said. It doesn’t matter what your teacher said. It doesn’t matter what the neighbor said? Who cares? What do you think? How do you feel about yourself?
Elise Kindya: What is here? But then also our purpose in life is to experience pleasure and pleasure isn’t just neutral there’s pleasure and there’s pain and then there’s neutrality kind of in the middle of that
Elise Kindya: yeah, just curious Your thoughts on that does the neutral Observer experience pleasure, or is it more of like our ego that experiences pleasure? Okay.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yes, so there are different parts of ourselves and…
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: we’re strengthening these different parts of ourselves rather than being one actually disconnected, but somewhat homogeneous blob. We are understanding.
Elise Kindya: All right.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I have my body that has its own total wisdom stored information needs desires capacity for pleasure. That’s my body. Then I have my I have this amazing ability this brain power to daydream and think about things and wow, and that conversation. I wish I had said this and all of I mean, it is beautiful inherently, even though it can cause us so much perceived suffering and then we have our Observer part of the mind and then there’s a subconscious as well, which is another whole thing, but the Observer is neutral.
00:50:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: So it is not experiencing pleasure. Just like you said it is neutral.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: It is often in different texts within psychology and the spiritual World known to be connected to the seat of your soul. So this is the place where your soul resides and watches. Our soul similar to if you want to think about Angelic energy or Define energy, All of those energies are inherently neutral, but also loving There is endless empathy and compassion and understanding and a little bit of humor in there. But it is inherently neutral.
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It has no personal desire. And that is what makes it neutral. It doesn’t need an outcome. It doesn’t need an explanation. It just sits and we do watch TV or movie. When you have that ability to observe. over time
Tess Palma-Martinez: Not only do the thoughts within our ego are thinking mind begin to space out which is a beautiful thing because most people it’s just running endlessly and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: you kind of feel like it’s controlling you in a way sometimes but you can create just a longer space between those thoughts. You’re not going to get rid of those thoughts. We’re human that’s part of our awareness and you don’t even want to get it rid of them. If you could which it’s not possible. It’s just creating the space in between those thoughts and in between those thoughts as the present moment present moment are connected to all of your five senses your site your feeling your smell your hearing if you can connect to any of your senses, You immediately are in the present moment. I feel this that is happening right now. It’s not connected to anything else and it’s neutral. Then the thinking mind comes in and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: assigns We label things as good when they are inherently easy for us. to do this. It’s easy for me to accept this so that this is difficult for me to do. This is difficult for me to accept. So that’s bad. Every person has a different perspective on that as well with just as I said earlier about the reality.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: So if I think something is good, but you think it’s bad. Which one is it? It’s neither.
Elise Kindya: right right Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It just is.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And so that can be confusing but that’s very much connected to in. Yang Theory these opposing forces that only exist because the other exists
Elise Kindya: mmm right polarity creates the other yeah. right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And that is such an interesting. Right, even though they’re Polar Opposites, they only exist because of the other one they have to be there. So if you can see it as that whole symbol of the yin and young symbol, it’s a mbol. It’s just a picture doesn’t it’s not good. It’s not bad. It’s not anything. it’s neutral.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And then within those quadrants then we assign. this is easy and flowing and beautiful and this is difficult and struggle and pain but really it’s not So when you begin to understand those things…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: then as you’re thinking mind is coming in or even as your body is coming in with pain or whatever. You’re Observer can just look at it and say how interesting. And the clients will say I think your favorite word is interesting and I’m like, yeah because it’s the most neutral yet validating. Concept like How interesting. That’s it.
Elise Kindya: right Right,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Nothing else is needed.
Elise Kindya: it holds my attention and yet I have no feeling like no. Judgment, so to say on it besides that it’s interesting as opposed to not being interesting.
Tess Palma-Martinez: right right
Elise Kindya: That’s something I try to tell my
Tess Palma-Martinez: But even that is interesting if something is not interesting, that’s also interesting. It’s something of note.
Elise Kindya: It’s something to note. Yeah. I’ll talk to my clients about that where they’re like, I want to stop being so judgmental and I’m like, okay, but whether you’re saying you like something or you don’t like something those are both judgmental. Being neutral in the middle.
00:55:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Elise Kindya: Okay, you don’t care about anything. I mean it’s important to care and have preferences and I prefer chocolate over vanilla, if I want to experience pleasure in life, I’m getting chocolate ice cream vanilla ice cream. It’s not that Vanilla Ice Creams bad. I just prefer chocolate.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Right, so that actually connects to the next piece outside of the Observer is our We have free will and that’s written into every religious text every scientific test dating throughout history. That’s what makes us different from animals and insects and things like that is we have this awareness of our Free Will and So within that free will space if you can train yourself to validation, Wow, holding the hand of your Observer. That’s where everything starts to shift. If you can validate yourself in every direction of your life. If you have to do something in your body starts to swamp over and you’re like I have to go do that. Don’t do it.
Tess Palma-Martinez: If you’re like, I can’t wait to do this, but I’m a little bit afraid actually and it’s like do that if you like chocolate go with the chocolate if you don’t like vanilla don’t go with vanilla if you’re thinking about this thing.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m thinking about that I’m going for a walk again. You can hear the neutrality in my voice, but You’re following the natural direction of your energy, which is connected to your free will which is connected to your own unique Divine frequency and each person’s frequency is different.
Elise Kindya: how do you know what someone’s frequency is or can you read somebody’s frequency? how does that work?
Tess Palma-Martinez: I cannot read someone’s frequency. We can read frequencies if anyone’s ever had an MRI, that’s what’s happening. So the machine is that big and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: archaic and clunky and loud and whatever because every single person on the planet has their own unique frequency. And when you go into that machine, the machine has to read your frequency and then calibrate itself to produce the same frequency. So that it can then penetrate your energetic field and take pictures inside of your body. And that was told to me by an MRI technician when I was getting an MRI…
Elise Kindya: whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: because I was like, this is 2022. why is this Gene like this? And he said that and I was just whoa.
Elise Kindya: Whoa, so when you get your thing printed out, does it say this is what you’re the bot your body frequency is like 432 megahertz.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I can’t answer It would be very different from that within frequency. Our human bodies are known as a composite frequency because every organ and…
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: cell and tissue and all of that has its own resonant frequency. So my kidneys frequency is different than my eyeball and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: but as a whole I am a composite frequency and because I am a composite frequency rather than a static fixed frequency. Whereas this glass is a fixed frequency. It has A fixed frequency can entrain or manipulate and sink a composite frequency. It can make this composite frequency shift to match its own and that’s what’s happening in sound healing when I’m facilitating a sound bath and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: playing these singing bowls. They’re made of crystals that have their own resonant frequency that is fixed. And as those frequencies reach out through the space connect with our bodies and ourselves it in trains our cells to vibrate at its pace.
Elise Kindya: Wow, And that’s how you healed…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: what was going on with you back in 2022? Wow, that’s really cool.
Tess Palma-Martinez: exactly Yep.
Elise Kindya: You were getting an MRI. Uh-huh.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I got an MRI and then I was doing sound healing every day. So the situation within that was that I had developed PCOS and…
Elise Kindya: Whoa
Tess Palma-Martinez: endometriosis and both of my ovaries were covered in large CIS. I had a ruptured ovarian cyst that sent me to the emergency room and then within that ultrasound They found that I had not only many PCOS CIS kind of like smaller group sizes, but multiple large endometrial cysts. And the biggest one was the size of a grapefruit and…
01:00:00
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: all them were deemed as pending rupture. So they had to put me in for a scheduled emergency surgery date, but I had to get other ultrasounds and then MRI lots of blood work etc. So there was a four-month span in to the surgery. I was January 3rd, I found sound healing at the beginning of February. I was doing sound healing on myself every day and went in for the surgery. I have the scars to prove it woke up from anesthesia and my OB was like, I don’t know what you did but everything had healed there’s nothing inside anymore. So you don’t even have to tell me what you did but just keep doing that. And I left working as a chef and switched into sound really fully.
Elise Kindya: Wow, that’s so amazing. I’m so happy for you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah. Thank you.
Elise Kindya: That’s so good.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I mean, it’s amazing. It’s a miracle and that is another piece of that letting myself be led by something. I followed my curiosity. I chose my energy direction to this thing that then literally changed the Rational frequency of myself and made myself clearer it brought me back into harmony something outside of myself.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: And so that is essentially now…
Elise Kindya: interest
Tess Palma-Martinez: what I’m doing with the universe. It is something outside of myself that is bringing alignment to me.
Elise Kindya: right
Elise Kindya: That’s so awesome.
Elise Kindya: so you’re at your two year anniversary of finding sound healing?
Tess Palma-Martinez: I am I know.
Elise Kindya: That’s exciting.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s been a while. It’s very fast ride. Very a lot of deep work and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: tune first. I’m hosting my own not being invited to facilitate but facilitating my own with my friend Kate who’s another sound healer.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: We’re doing a sound healer training retreat at the same Resort where I first came to nosada and we’re almost sold out already. It’s so amazing and that depth is what is so needed in the space because sound healing is becoming really popular and then I see all these become a sound healer this weekend and it’s like Actually,…
Elise Kindya: Yeah, right. right
Tess Palma-Martinez: and that’s not So when I speak about the depth, really let yourself be there and when you are doing less inherently and you give yourself that space and you’re pouring all of yourself back into yourself, that’s where the depth comes from.
Elise Kindya: I love that. that’s an interesting. I usually ask my guests to because this podcast is called returning home.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Okay.
Elise Kindya: And I love to ask my guests what returning home means to them and you’ve talked a lot about I…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: I don’t want to put words in your mouth. But yeah, it I have heard you say things that I’m like that sounds like returning home. But yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: what is returning home mean to you?
Tess Palma-Martinez: I guess it is what I am. I am here.
Elise Kindya: Mmm
Elise Kindya: You’re your own home. Always coming back to the present moment.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s knowing yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah. with myself inside of myself
Elise Kindya: right Yeah, I love that.
Tess Palma-Martinez: What is yours?
Elise Kindya: what returning home means to me. today it means
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah today.
Elise Kindya: being in my body and
Elise Kindya: being okay with that. Sometimes I think as women were f*** my body. I hate my body. I feel like crap or whatever it is as far as having our period every month and all we’re feeling pain. and today I feel I’ve been feeling so much better in my body recently because I’ve been doing some weight lifting and changing some things about what I’m eating and I just feel a lot more like buoyant I just feel almost like bouncy in a way I feel light on my feet I feel
Elise Kindya: like ease and just comfort in my body and in a way that I haven’t felt in a long time or I don’t know if I’ve ever been so I’m just like wow, I feel
01:05:00
Elise Kindya: it’s just easier to exist in my body today and That feels really nice every Friday morning. I go to a yoga class and she always has a set Our intention, of course before we get started and Usually mine is be nice things to yourself in your mind because my inner critic is very loud, but she’s been calming down a little bit lately we love her. But yeah today my intention was more. So just an acknowledgment of I just feel good. Thank you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: mmm
Elise Kindya: And so yeah, that’s what it means to me today. Yeah. Thank you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Beautiful. Thank you for sharing that.
Elise Kindya: I did want to ask you about Portugal. Tell us everything.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah So it’s very much connected to nosada and being here choosing to be here. And as I mentioned so July came I facilitated the retreat.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: I started the whole I’m moving here. I met this man really fell in love and thought that I was in love or…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: I wasn’t love with the Persona that he had portrayed and…
Elise Kindya: Yes.
Tess Palma-Martinez: we had a very beautiful relationship within that neutrality of just looking at the relationship. It was a very beautiful experience then when I was moving here the relationship ended and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I still followed that direction of my energy of No, I wanted to move here before I even met him I’m still going and made the move. Within the first Two days of being here once moving. I had met a friend prior and he and his husband they own bed and breakfast here in asada and they’re like, they come to breakfast anytime. We love you and
Tess Palma-Martinez: And that just was I’m moving and whatever and I went was there a couple days and then whatever morning I woke up and I was like, today is the day I want to go to breakfast and I got there and one of the guests that was staying was this guy. His name is Nick now my very good friend, and he was there with his wife and his child and his extended family his father-in-law sister in law and his three best friends from kindergarten which was really interesting and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Tess Palma-Martinez: and I just connected in this way of we totally know each other from some other place and it was a very fast and deep connection and he’s just a very generous person and has his own life of accomplishments and things and as in a space where he has Financial abundance and
Tess Palma-Martinez: then months go by we’re still friends and this news of this relationship came out that the whole time he was married and he’s like this whole other person that I even didn’t really realize and I was sharing this with Nick the other day and he was just like, my God, this is so crazy and you’ve been dealing with this all yourself you’re there alone and working and I know how much you’re working and I was like, yeah, I know it’s been a lot but it’s also good and I’m just in the flow of the abundance and he’s like you need a vacation and I was like, wouldn’t that be nice? that’s so great, but it’s super high season here and it’ll all be fine. I’m pretty good and we get off the phone have the rest of the day wake up the next morning and my whole email inboxes just this number that Hopper Portugal Lisbon connecting flight hotel like he had booked out.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And a nine day all expenses paid vacation for me. to Portugal
Elise Kindya: That’s amazing. What a guy.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And what a guy so it’s just so nice to receive it. And there was one tiny split moment Within Myself where I was like when I received this and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: then I was just like yes, I can receive this.
Elise Kindya: Wow, right,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: I don’t need to do right.
Elise Kindya: that would be so scary to see yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I don’t need to placate and be like, you didn’t need to do that or I really shouldn’t take a vacation right now. It’s like I don’t have any person stuff scheduled for the dates that he happened to book it. All of my clients are virtual. I can be on with them anywhere in the world. That’s the beauty of that and be led.
01:10:00
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: And those are my Mantra words as of late.
Elise Kindya: Yes, and they are absolutely just like ring like you’re just living That’s incredible.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah. It is.
Elise Kindya: That’s so amazing. I’m really happy for you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Thank you.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, and…
Elise Kindya: It’s really cool.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And I were all capable of our own unique version of this and that’s what I just want everybody. I mean I had somebody send me a DM the other day. That was like I’ve been watching everything and it’s so amazing and you’re so worth all of this and I’m in the total opposite space where if something doesn’t change. I don’t even know what’s gonna happen and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: I was there honestly most of my life in that space of I battled with deep depression suicidal ideation chronic pain. I mean, it’s like you don’t even conceive that’s anything can be but you are responsible for making those changes and I have a lot of different tools that I’ve really developed over time that The biggest one is I mean look at news resolutions 83% of people fall off at their New Year’s resolution and in less than two weeks and it’s because the goal is just too big make it smaller. It doesn’t have to be so big make it manageable and it’s a smaller stepping stone. It’s the little tiny things instead of I’m gonna go to the gym every day at 7 am so I can lose 52 pounds. It’s whoa, that’s like
Tess Palma-Martinez: whoa There’s 27 tiny little things that need to happen even to get to that one goal.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: right Yeah, so breaking things down into much more manageable pieces that doesn’t overwhelm your system and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: send you back into the sympathetic nervous system.
Tess Palma-Martinez: exactly
Elise Kindya: It’s like let’s actually make this a really easy process.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Easy easeful if you’re feeling resistant, it’s too big. Follow your energy…
Elise Kindya: Yeah. right
Tess Palma-Martinez: if it feels tough, but you’re still like I’m gonna do this then that’s good. If it’s like, I have to do that then it’s too big.
Elise Kindya: right Absolutely. I can relate to that and I think a lot of people listening can relate to that because Yeah, I mean, you’re right we have these really grandiose ideas of I’ve been doing this one thing this way 30 years and I think on January 1st and all of a sudden gonna just completely change the way I live my life.
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Elise Kindya: It’s like No, you’re special but no, right just chunk it down for yourself and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: be kind to yourself. it’s so beautiful. Then when you can see you can look back over if you did decide to make a small change that led to some bigger change. and see wow that path is what I had to walk to get here and That’s really really cool. And Look at how life is unfolding for me, love that for me. That’s awesome. Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Mm- right and that even what you just said of look back and this is the journey I had to take and look how everything’s unfolding. I love that for me. That’s how I feel about all of my past traumas. It’s like,…
Elise Kindya: Mm-hmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: Damn that was intense and I look at where I am. I love that for me. And so those traumas It doesn’t even matter anymore because now I’m here but I did those thousands of tiny micro steps to get here.
Elise Kindya: Right, right and sometimes yeah, the trauma likes if a cell didn’t have to split into two. To make organisms than it wouldn’t like that’s trauma right like splitting yourself in half. That doesn’t feel awesome.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Is it trauma though? That’s where that I would say.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: There are so many accounts of women giving birth that literally have orgasms and say it was the most pleasurable thing. They’ve ever experienced. There’s proof of that so it can be painful or it can be pleasurable. It depends On your perspective again.
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s Not you specifically but we are labeling these things as bad or traumatic, but actually that cell and mitosis might be like having the most orgasmic pleasure that it just becomes two things.
Elise Kindya: Wow, it’s like there’s too much good stuff to go around. I gotta spread this around.
Tess Palma-Martinez: right Right. No.
Elise Kindya: I need to make more of this. for sure. Yeah, you’re right. Definitely. But yeah, sometimes the trauma is just part of the story. It’s just part of we’re not going to watch Harry Potter if he didn’t get killed by Voldemort at the end. Sorry spoiler alert, but
01:15:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: I actually didn’t even know that that happened. I think I watched the first two movies and then I was like, yeah, that’s fine. going
Elise Kindya: Yeah. then the thing is actually Voldemort kills the part of himself. That’s inside Harry, but Harry still alive. So it’s like this whole thing.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Harry represents Jesus and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah. right Hello.
Tess Palma-Martinez: the reawakening of the Consciousness. Yes.
Elise Kindya: We’re Harry Potter friends over here. But yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: so Yeah, we have to go through some s***. I mean, it’s The Human Condition. So yeah, what color glasses are we putting on as we’re Maybe sloshing through some of that and how fast can we get out of it and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Elise Kindya: just like, okay that happened. Great good for me. I’m on to the next thing.
Tess Palma-Martinez: And be in it fully in order to have it passed quickly.
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: There’s this the way that cows versus Buffalo behave in different weather patterns, if cows are in the pasture and they see a cloud storm coming they will turn around and walk away from the clouds. But then the clouds keep coming and…
Elise Kindya: They keep coming.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so the cows keep going and then all of a sudden they’re miles away from where they need and maybe they’re lost and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: now they have to get all the way back Buffalo see the cloud. They turn toward the cloud and they walk through the storm and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: they get to the other side of the storm faster. And the storm keeps going and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: so if you can be in the deepest lake, that whatever the sensation Be in it fully again. It’s that Whatever is happening fully understand it and be there and then it will pass. All it is looking for is to be acknowledged if you keep running away from it. It’s going to keep chasing you.
Elise Kindya: Right. Yes. so true that some of the work I do with my clients with internal family systems and these exiled parts that are so shoved away and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: then all these behaviors keep coming up because gotta acknowledge. What’s going on over here? Nope, can’t do that. All right. Yeah, we got to turn towards that part and make space for it. As part of your whole system the same way a family lives together in a house. All of these parts live together inside of you and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Elise Kindya: they all deserve to be there. And then right once we do turn towards the thing.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: It’s usually not as bad as we it’s like we get so scared of things and then recently I hadn’t talked to my dad in 15 years. He’s my God.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Been there done that. Yeah.
Elise Kindya: He’s like the scariest person in my mind. He has the same birthday as head Bundy and I’m just living up to that. Looks like Jack Nicholson, Daddy from The Shining. It’s scary.
Tess Palma-Martinez: lighting
Elise Kindya: The day after Christmas I was like, I’m sick of all of our s*** right now. Hello. Is this still your number? I’m over it or we’re talking again. And I’m gonna go see him in March. right and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: amazing man
Elise Kindya: this is something that and it’s funny what we talk about at the identity level. I have always identified as someone I don’t have my father in my life. I’m not talking to my dad. We’re a strange. and now I’m like That identity is no longer I don’t like that’s not my identity. And it never really was like that was just something that …
Tess Palma-Martinez:
Elise Kindya: Where does your dad live? I don’t know. It’s one of my business.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, it was the protection. It was a cool girl. That’s doesn’t no big deal. I don’t have my dad.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m a little bit different and a rebel and whatever and you put these things on ourselves as a safety mechanism.
Elise Kindya: right, right, and now it’s like what I’m gonna just go ahead and break the ice and just see what happens and I mean, we had an hour and a half phone call where he’s inviting me and my husband to come stay with him.
Tess Palma-Martinez: wow, amazing
Elise Kindya: Yeah. I mean it wasn’t the most Pleasant phone call in the world. but I don’t care,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: I just am like I’m done with that. I don’t want to write of course.
Tess Palma-Martinez: But you’re also capable you just showed yourself in such a huge way how capable you are to have that experience and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah. right Right.
Tess Palma-Martinez: it’s totally fine. And it’s even continuing. Yes.
Elise Kindya: I was that Buffalo turning towards the storm. Yeah. I’m walking right into that thing. I’m like, all right. I would tell my husband every day. I’m like, what are we doing? Why are we doing this but it’s time to walk into the storm for sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: So I love that analogy. I’m totally gonna Think about that every time that I think about avoiding something difficult.
01:20:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: I’m like And I just avoiding the inevitable half of life is difficult. So why not just Embrace that and be with it and then it’s just part of life.
Tess Palma-Martinez: when I feel like either something tough really happened or…
Elise Kindya: I don’t have to feel so bad about it. Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I’m just entering into a mood or I’m changing or whatever. I’ll shut myself in my room for A day and a half and I’m usually on the floor and I’m like crying and I’m on my foam roller and I’m moving my body and I’m with it and then a day and a half later. it’s gone.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It’s out of me and it’s not even gonna repeat again. Whereas in the past, I would push it away and it would go on for weeks or months of I’m just in this space and in this depression and I’m in this angst and whatever but it’s so much shorter if you just go in
Elise Kindya: I love that. I think people If you’re listening, I know that resonated, I you felt that somewhere inside for Is there anything that we haven’t touched on today that you feel like, you really want to share or that feels?
Tess Palma-Martinez: haha
Elise Kindya: Yeah, on the tip of your tongue or something that you just feels very important.
Tess Palma-Martinez: I don’t think so. And I actually feel like I like the way the places that were explored here because a lot of the podcasts that I’m on people are often asking me about sound healing and the science of sound healing and…
Elise Kindya:
Tess Palma-Martinez: all of that and which I love to talk about and that really I feel like would be the only thing left but it’s not necessary in that resource is easily found other places,…
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Tess Palma-Martinez: so I feel like what we’ve said. Is complete other than just reiterating things and the only thing that I can think of is even that Epstein-Barr mono. whatever Your body isn’t doing random stuff. Your body is doing stuff to get your attention.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Elise Kindya: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And they’re just the same analogy.
Tess Palma-Martinez: We were just talking about turn toward it. Don’t be upset and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: pissed off at your body for doing this thing. That is so inconvenient for you. pay attention.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Tess Palma-Martinez: What is happening? Why is your body trying going to these extreme lengths to get your attention? And it could be emotional. It could be something else but open yourself up to exploring and just being with it and your body will literally tell you things like if I sit and I have this and I have all of my clients implement this and so listeners I suggest this to you, too. Every day sitting in Silence of observation for three minutes. The timer on your phone for three minutes that takes away the pressure of the conscious mind of how long has it been and whatever and you sit and you identify all of your senses? What am I seeing? What behind my eyelids? and if your mind drifts
Tess Palma-Martinez: Then just come back. I drifted it.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: It lasted the entire three minutes this time. I came back at the end. It’s a muscle just like your strength training every time you come back to the present moment. You strengthen the trust and that’s where you’re able to get the space between your thoughts. And in that space just as I cultivated space and I was talking about entering in my era of doing less. Then all of these messages can come up and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Tess Palma-Martinez: your body can start to tell you things or your subconscious can start to show you things or your soul is like hey or a past loved one or you’re Angelic team or I mean, there’s so many other things that we can be paying attention to but we don’t give it the space.
Elise Kindya: and those things can come from just paying attention to the body and being in the five senses. Oh.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, when you’re in the present moment that cultivates the space that you’re needing and then within that space. you’re choosing to be present with yourself. And then that’s where everything comes from.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, definitely. I 100% agree with that for sure you’ve got you 24/7 365 from the day you’re born until That expiration date at the end like you’re with yourself all the time.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: Have fun with yourself. That’s like you’re cool.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah, validate do it do follow your energy.
Elise Kindya: Yeah. Yeah, we love.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, is there anything that you would like to leave the listeners with as far as where they can find you how they can interact with you or come to any of your events or trainings or anything like that?
01:25:00
Tess Palma-Martinez: Sure, I’d love to you can find me everywhere at completely That is my business name my website completely golden calm my Instagram completely golden all one word. I have my completely golden sub stack. I have an old two seasons of a podcast completely golden the podcast there are lots of ways to connect and I say this very sincerely I love to connect. So if you want to reach out to me, if you want to send me a DM or an email or anything, please do I absolutely love it and I will respond to you sometimes pretty often. I’ll get people like hey, you’re probably super busy and then the eggs and the voicemail and they’re like, my God a voice note from you and I’m like, yeah, it’s fine. So go for it. I’m here. I learn just as much from all of these conversations and connections. So it’s very mutual.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, that’s great. Thank you. And I’ll definitely get those links from you to put in the show notes. So people can just click on them and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Sure.
Elise Kindya: So that’ll be easy to I was just so much enjoyed this conversation and having you on cut the podcast. Yeah, it’s as we were talking before we hit record Serendipity and just meeting people and I just walked into the mind because I don’t even know how I had heard about it. I was staying in Silverlake East Hollywood and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: wow far
Elise Kindya: I’m like, yeah, I was driving 30 minutes. I signed up for that week. I was driving 30 minutes to get over there In those two weeks.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Wow.
Elise Kindya: I probably went there eight times or something. So it was great.
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: I loved it and I loved meeting people and experiencing.
Elise Kindya: Just everything I did that was so cool. yeah, so just the Serendipity of that and I’ve been following you following along with all the things going on with you. So I can attest you are very just cool and…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: down and I was like, hey you want to be in my podcast and you were like, yep. So I love that and that’s what life is about is connecting and sharing with each other so Yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: right
Tess Palma-Martinez: And like you said before the recording too,…
Elise Kindya: thank.
Tess Palma-Martinez: you’re like you said Serendipity and then you’re like, but that Serendipity is life. If you pay attention if you let it be serendipitous everything is serendipitous.
Elise Kindya: Right, right. It’s like you really never know what the next moment’s gonna hold. So why pretend that you do? Yeah. Yeah,…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Right be open Let It Go.
Elise Kindya: I love that so…
Tess Palma-Martinez: Thank you so much.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, thank you. all right, I’m gonna hit stop and then
Meeting ended after 01:28:00 👋
